PGA and KOFC

Two big tournaments this weekend. The annual KofC scramble in Montgomery, IN and uh, oh yeah, the PGA Championship.  One is full of pressure, features high levels of golf, and will mean the success or failure of a golfers year. The other is being played in Wisconsin.

The scramble this year should be alot of fun. I have one MisHit mafia member on my team, his son, my nephew  and a guy that I haven't met yet.

We start at 8 am and hopefully I won't do too much training on Friday night that will ruin my morning on Saturday.

To the jack off that is running his mouth about my B player being the best player in the tournament...... Maybe before you start talking about things that you have no idea about; you should do some fact checking. My nephew figures you've seen him hit about 5 golf balls in his entire life. I, on the other hand, play with him a couple of times a month and know exactly what he shoots. I guess if my team is that good you should bring cash to the auction.

Shot Taker, why are you so fired up about this?  Well, mainly because every year I take a team that pretty much has no chance to win this tournament, none, zilch, zero. As do most of the members of the committee, it's not like I'm doing something special. However, this year the field is really strong and I have a B player that actually can break 95 on a regular basis. It pisses me off to have some loud mouth with a built-in daily audience flapping his gums.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to this weekend, it's always nice to see old friends and have fun day on the links. Until next time.....

Swing Hard and Have a Shot On Me

The Shot Taker

How To Play In A Scramble

The Shot Taker wants to know some secrets to playing well in a Scramble format.    Hmmm..... now that's poses some problems.  You see folks, TST and I host a 2 man tournament every year.  We do pretty well in every format other than Scramble.  So him asking me for advice might be the dumbest thing I can imagine.  As for us, our answer is to play better in the other formats and survive the Scramble segment.  In fact, the way we scramble together, we should probably just call it Scrabble.

For what it's worth, here is my version of what I think is key to playing well in a scramble.

#1- Play within yourself.  You don't need to try shots you know you are not capable of making just because you have a good ball in play.  This screws your swing up for weeks.  Play the game you know.

#2- If you are a "D" player, just relax and play.  In all honesty, the "A" and "B" players do not expect anything from you.  If you happen to chip a ball in or make a long putt, that's just a bonus for the team.  You will serve your team best by putting first and hopefully give the other players some idea about  speed and line.  Just enjoy the day and don't worry about anything.

#3- If you are playing in the "C" position, your job is the role of pressure release.  What that means is you need to put a ball in play off the tee that finds the fairway.  Doing this effecitvely "opens the door" for the two better players behind you.  Don't do anything crazy or risky.  Just try to be conservative and know that if you play your role well, good things are likely to happen behind you from your "B" and "A" players.-

#4- The "B" players role is to improve on what the "C" player did or complete the "C" players role if he was not effective.  The worse thing a "B" player can do is leave his "A" player bare assed.  You want to try to hit the middle of the greens, not go pin hunting.  Save that job for the "A" player.

#5- The "A" players role is to organize his players and put them in the roles they can best serve the team.  For instance, if your "C" player is a better putter than your "B" player, switch their order on the greens.  You need to exude confidence and security to your team.  Make them feel comfortable and take the pressure off of them.  You obviously need to hit good shots and make some putts, but controlling your team is very important.

#6-  Don't get ahead of yourself.  You can't make a birdie on #12 while you are playing #10.  Play each shot as it presents itself and refuse the urge to try to "figure out" what score it is going to take to win.  You are not a friggin' physic.... just play golf shots.

#7- Enjoy the day, even if you are not able to get a putt in the hole to save your life.  You are going to be outside for 5 hours, so make the most of it.  A bad day on the course, beats a good day at work any day in my book!

Coach
"The ShotMaker"

Date Night At The Links

Golf has many incarnations. Casual play, tournament play, match play, stroke play, alternate shot, scramble...you name it. But there is one type of play that is in a league of it's own. Couples golf. There's nothing like an old "hit and giggle" to get the inner golfer in you fired up.  Where else can you play golf and kiss your partner after she hits one down the middle? Or find out from a lady in your group that she just found a little pocket in her new skirt that you can keep your tee in? I mean, this just doesn't happen in your typical weekend round. 

Some random quotes that the Shot Gal has thrown at me during a few hit and giggles this year:

"Why don't you kiss me more?"

"Let me try and hit your driver, you haven't hit it yet."

"Do you always smoke this much during golf?"

"Those couples seem to be having more fun."

"Why do you wiggle your club like that? Oh, sorry go ahead and hit."

"He seems to be complementing her more."

"Can you just try and hit it straight?"

I watched my brother do his best David Ledbetter impression with one of the greatest teaching tools of all time. After ShotInLaw missed her 5th consecutive swing, he put the ball about 3 feet behind the crater she was making. He told her to try and hit the hole and by God she hit the ball. Get this kid on the freaking Golf Channel!

You never really know how serious to be. One never knows how much one of the snobby members will react at letting one of the broads take another whack at the ball following another wiff. I mean, we ARE playing for 8 bucks in merchandise credits. But, the minute you tell them to pick up the fucking ball and lets go for crissakes.....someone yells at you from another hole....."C'mon you prick, it's for fun, let her hit it."  Yeah, you probably just want another shot at her ass while granny hits another putt 15 feet past.

But, I will say, me, Mook, ShotGal and Shot in Law have alot of fun. We have the ability to laugh at ourselves and can make fun of each other in the most brutal fashion.  We made alot of retard jokes when ShotInLaw bragged about the pocket for her tee. "I keep my tee in here!"

Yes you do, honey. Good job.

Loose Impediments:

I don't think enough was made of the senior Champions Tour had back to back major championships. How stupid is that?

I'm not sure why I don't like Bubba Watson.

Uh, Tiger, you can still be a Dad and practice your golf. That is the lamest excuse that I've ever heard and I can't believe that you are now the guy reduced to this. Guess what, alot of guys have to something really weird like GO TO A FUCKING JOB and still find time for their kids. Just because you now cant go to Olympic Gardens in Vegas every other week doesn't mean you have to whine about spending time with your kids. Get your ass out on the range and hit some balls.

This is going to sound really racist but it's not meant to be. The LPGA seems weird when half of the players names are spelled like this She-Kai Olakwoudhfkdjijgoijgoij.

And are we POSITIVE that they are all women?

Bernhard Langer sort of creeps me out. I think he may be a robot.

Will PGA announcers please start the trend of calling the guys that yell "GET IN THE HOLE!!!" after a player hits a shot....complete and utter douche bags. Do people really think this a cool thing to do?

Playing with the boys up in Montgomery tomorrow morning. It'll be good to get the Mishit Mafia's cash again. It's been waaaaay tooooo loooooong.

Also, picking teams for the annual KofC golf scramble.  Here is my criteria for ranking players in this event.

D Player: Excited for the second week of August when you can dust off the old clubs for your inaugural round of the year.

C Player: Owns his own clubs and played "in a couple scrambles this year."

B Player: Owns clubs AND shoes.

A Player: Can easily break 90 while bitching about the lack of free keg beer this year.

Coach, give us guys that don't play in a bunch of four man scrambles some ideas. I tend to not play as well in these things as I'd like to.

Until Next Time

SWIZZING HIZZZARD