Turkey Time

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I wanted to put down a few things that the old Shot Taker was thankful for.


Thanks to Hunter Mahan for making us all feel better. I mean, we only chunk chips in front of the other guys in our group and the old guy waiting to wash the cart. He does it in front of the whole world.

Thank you to Colin Montgomery for reminding us that the Ryder Cup is the best sports event that doesn’t have the words Super or Bowl in it.

Many thanks to the Golf Channel and the Big Break for showing us that there are other places besides Country Oaks where bad shots and assholes meet.

Speaking of the Big Break, thanks very much for Sara and her shorts.

Thank You. Thank You. Thank You to Tiger Woods. Without you the Shot Taker would have had A LOT less jokes for this blog.

While I’m on the subject……………………………………………………………..

Thanks Tiger for replacing Santa Claus as the king of Ho, Ho, Ho’s.

Thank you Mr. Woods for filling us in that not every one of your big sticks and bags have the Nike logo.

Thank you Elin for your nice call, but the role of ShotGal is filled.

Thank you Tiger. Thanks for FINALLY making John Daly seem somewhat normal.

Thank you, Tiger. We’ll never think the same thing again when McCord or Feherety says that you “took it deep.”

Now back to regular programming.

Thank you to Mr. Phil Mickelson for representing for all male golfers that should be wearing a brazier.

Thank you Anthony Kim. Thanks for showing that professionals, like us, show up to the course for tournament final rounds hung-over as hell.

Thank you MisHit Mafia. Thanks for not getting together as much this year. Both my mental image of a proper golf swing and my liver are in waaaaaaaaaaay better shape.

Thank you to Charles Barkley for not giving up golf but rather taking the game up left handed. I mean, it’s as exciting watching you try to hit a golf ball as it watching Michael J Fox try and sit still. Ah, that was mean, I’m sorry. You can golf a little.

Most of all, thanks to the readers of this blog, ShotNation will eventually take over the world!!!!!!!!

Until next time……Swing Hard!!



The Shot Taker

2010 A to Z

Except for the occasional warm day round, it looks like 2010 Golf is in the books. Was it a successful year for the Shot Taker? I would have to say emphatically……….YES!! and then No. It started off incredibly promising a win in the Member/Member tourney and then a 2nd place finish at the Classic. By July 1st things seemed to be going in a good direction. All of those proclamations about this year being “my year” seemed to look as good as Beyonce in a skin tight outfit. But somewhere along the way Beyonce turned into that fat chick from Precious and my season fizzled. The fantastic draw I was playing turned into a massive hook and my lack of distance off of the tee only grew to staggering levels.

Late in the season things did turn around a bit. After the member/guest debacle in which I played like that hiker that sawed his own arm off, post amputation, things got a bit better. First of all, I got rid of that fucking Nike Square Sumo. I don’t know if it was a black market copy or what but as soon as I put a Taylor Made R9 in my bag, my distance off of the tee was back to normal. I did make some improvements over the year I think, The Coach’s drills helped my overall consistency and I feel I’m on track for 2011…..My Year!

What to do this winter to get the old game where I want it? First and foremost, it’s time to get this fat body back in better condition. I have started walking / running and am gradually building that up. University of Evansville coach Marty Simmons, who is one of my childhood idols, lost 100 pounds recently eating a little smarter and walking everyday. I hope that I can do the same thing and when the Coach says to point my belt buckle at my target on the follow through…..my belt buckle will actually be visible.

As far as equipment goes, I think I’m pretty set. Now that I have gotten rid of that driver I really feel good about everything in my bag. I actually like the Nike fairway woods and hybrids so those will stay. The Bridgestone irons are staying and I don’t think I’ll ever find a putter that feels better in my hands than the one I’ve been using for that past 10 years.


Next, get back to regular blogging so the Coach and I will have that interaction and continue getting drills to help my swing. Hopefully, this will help out all of your games as well. That’s why we are all here right? Now that the blog is back up and running and posts will be up 3 to 4 times per week, please tell your friends to start checking it out. We have a lot of things planned but we need to start growing the readership.


Homework for the next blog, which will be Sunday evening after I return from the UE vs. IU game in Bloomington…..start thinking about your own exercise program for the next few months. Don’t get crazy, because if you are like me and overdo it, you’ll just get sick of it and quit. Let’s get better together.

I will leave you with an alphabetical wrap up of the 2010 Golf Season according to the Shot Taker.



Until next time…..SWING HARD!!

A      Asshole. Like the one that ran his mouth off before the KofC tournament despite having no idea what he was talking about. Remember, gambling habits, heavy drinking and a big mouth DO NOT mix.




B      Beer. I don’t know that there is a finer place on the planet than the Washington KofC with the other 7 guys on Saturday after 18 holes. Come ready to drink though, the rounds fly pretty fast.



C      Couples Golf. This year is the most that I’ve ever played. And I must say despite my jokes at ShotGals expense, we had a lot of fun together on the links.



D      Drainage Ditch. Being denied a drop out of a ditch at Fendrich cost me a spot in the Evansville City Tournament.



E      Eighty- one. Instead of seventy- six. See “D” above.



F      Fuck. Is there a more versatile word in golf? It can be used as an adjective….I hit that fucking putt EXACTLY where I wanted and still missed. It can be used as a verb….Well, my partner fucked that up. As an adverb….That ball fucking JUMPED off of the club head. As a noun…… Fucker thinks I’m giving him that three footer the way he’s putting?



G      Gut. Mine. Didn’t help my golf and attributed to my near death walking up the hill on par 5 -15th during the summer.



H      Handicap. Despite the fact that my year didn’t go as planned and I put in every score; somehow my index has dropped to an 8.5. I hate the system that is in place.



I       Ignorance on the rules of golf. Would it kill some of you to pick up a rules book over the winter? I mean, you don’t have to be an expert but at least brush up on the basics.



J      Josh Teater. The only PGA pro that I actually know had a great first year on tour and will be back with his card in hand for 2011. Job well done!



K      KofC scramble. Didn’t win, despite my B player being the best player in the tournament. (see “A”). But, I did win a complete set of Powerbilt clubs and a Nike square hybrid that matched my other Nike clubs.



L       Lash Larue. The act of holding the club head end of an iron and in a whipping action hitting your brother in the calf with the grip; while he’s not looking. Very funny. Not so funny when it’s your brother doing the lashing to you.



M      MisHit Mafia. My guys. A group of 8 golfers that break down in these categories….3 bald heads, 2 fat guys, 1 toupee, 8 bad swings, 1 monstrous nose, 4 shaky hands, and an Irishman in a Bud tree. But a bunch of great guys.



N      Not Enough. I only played two rounds of golf with the MisHit Mafia members this year and that is a crime.



O      Oak Meadow. My first year as a member of this club went really well. Hopefully they will stay afloat long enough for there to be a year number two.



P      Preferred Lies. A thing of the past in our group and we are glad of it. Makes golf more enjoyable when you don’t spend your time watching your buddy trying to tee up a shot on some dead grass so they can hit a 3 wood 40 yards short of a par 5.



Q      Quality tournament. The Belt Tech Classic at Country Oaks is as good of a tournament that there is in the area. Make sure, even if you are not a tournament player, to volunteer or come out and watch next year. You’ll be glad you did.



R      Ryder Cup. Jack Nicklaus once said that the Presidents Cup would one day be a bigger and more important event. Probably the dumbest thing Jack ever said. With maybe the exception of “Tiger, meet my granddaughter.”



S      Six Birdies. Not sure what got into my brother a couple of weeks ago. But during the annual family tournament the Mookster threw up a half dozen birdies on me and my father.



T      Tiger’s Penis. Man. What a great 2009 it had. 2010…..not so much.



U      Under Par Round. Better check back next year on this one.



V      Vincennes Golf Club. Glad to see the old Fox Ridge making a comeback. Don’t let it slip boys; you’ve got a bit of momentum going.



W      Women of A Shot of Golf. Haven’t I provided some nice pictures this year for you dirty old bastards?



X      Expert Tips. The Coach will make us better with his simple to- do drills and advice that comes from a long background in the game.

Y      Yancey, Scott. Sorry to hear about the former Big Breaker and my onetime Pro Am partner has gotten away from golf. Hope to see him back out there next year.

Z      Zoysia. The finest grass for a fairway. Go play Country Oaks in July and tell me I’m wrong.

What Happened To The Shot Taker??

Just when the world was getting a feel for the Shot Taker and his trials and tribulations regarding his golf game, he friggin' falls (or rolls) off the face of the earth!

Let's face it... he is one sick dude, but his posts are rather addicting aren't they???

My best bet is that he got kicked out of that fancy schmantzy club he belonged to.  Or he never belonged at all and finally got caught.  Or they had to shut the place down to the tremendous water bill caused by his passion for "cannonballs".

Whatever the case, we need this guy back!  Sure, his golf season didn't pan out the way he planned..... who's does?   It's golf.... it never keeps you satisfied for very long.

As for me.... It appears I have lost one of my favorite golf students.  At least I did not lose a paying client.

For what it's worth, here is my free golf tip of the week.  The reason most people suck at golf is because they are simply not flexible enough to swing the club properly.  Since 75% of the blog followers golf season is over, my tip is for you to lose some weight, join a few fitness classes or simply work on your flexibility.  One of the best things you can do at home is to take a golf club and put it on your back, holding it with your elbows.  Now simply get in your golf stance, knees slightly flexed, bend from the hip sockets and TURN slowly into your backswing and hold for a 5 count.  From there, turn into your follow through position and hold for a 5 count.  Do this 10 times a day and see what a difference it makes come spring!

Coach
"The Shot Maker"

Grab Your Member

Sorry for the delay on the latest posts. Computer problems has the Taker in disaray. I have the Member/Guest tournament this weekend at Oak Meadow. Should be alot of fun as players are coming in from 11 different states. My partner is my uncle from Ricmond, IN and we will easily be the heaviest team in the field if not the best golfers. Hey, you have to have one advantage on the field and dammit, this is ours.

Look for a full post tonight when I'll have more info. Thanks,  Shot Nation, I appreciate you all. AND, thanks to the Coach for more great tips!!

Who Needs Complicated Advice??

When you are trying to improve your golf swing the LAST thing you need is complicated advice that is over your head..... and sticks in your head..... and muddles your brain..... which leads to you thinking of "everything".

Now don't get me wrong, PGA golf instructors are excellent at what they do.  I highly recommend you work with one as long as he fits your goals.  Selecting a golf instructor should mimic the same process that you would use to choose your dentist, family physician or pediatrician. 

If you have lots of time and money, a PGA pro can completely break down your swing and build it back up.  Please understand that this process requires the student to spend a lot of time on the range working on the "new" techniques.

Now to the dark side of some PGA instructors.  To put it bluntly, they give you a little assistance and "encourage" you to take a series of lessons from them.  Unfortunately, some of these guys are interested in "volume" of clients instead of offering some "quicker fixes" that will satisfy the student in one or two lessons.  Understand that the money they charge for their lessons is theirs.  They rely on this for personal income.

Ok, for those of you who have followed this blog and have read my free golf swing tips, you know that I like to give you "simple" things to do to improve your swing.  I don't want to go all technical on you and make swinging a golf club more complicated than it really is.  I also don't believe in "cloning" all of my students to swing the club the same way.  No two swings are alike.

Here is your free golf swing tip for the week.  Get a piece of paper and write this down.  Hell, this is so simple, you can remember it without writing it down.  Here it is!!!

LEFT SHOULDER TO THE CHIN....... RIGHT SHOULDER TO THE CHIN
Repeat this 10 times.  The next time you play golf, say these words to yourself before you hit every shot.

Yep... if on your backswing (takeaway) you take the club away and get your left should to touch your chin (as close as you can) and on the downswing touch your right shoulder to your chin, you have put yourself in position to hit solid golf shots.  Now there are many technical reasons this is effective and I could bore you to death with explanations, but who the hell cares!!   Don't clutter your mind over this great game, keep it simple and enjoy the game.

Coach
"The Shot Maker"

PGA and KOFC

Two big tournaments this weekend. The annual KofC scramble in Montgomery, IN and uh, oh yeah, the PGA Championship.  One is full of pressure, features high levels of golf, and will mean the success or failure of a golfers year. The other is being played in Wisconsin.

The scramble this year should be alot of fun. I have one MisHit mafia member on my team, his son, my nephew  and a guy that I haven't met yet.

We start at 8 am and hopefully I won't do too much training on Friday night that will ruin my morning on Saturday.

To the jack off that is running his mouth about my B player being the best player in the tournament...... Maybe before you start talking about things that you have no idea about; you should do some fact checking. My nephew figures you've seen him hit about 5 golf balls in his entire life. I, on the other hand, play with him a couple of times a month and know exactly what he shoots. I guess if my team is that good you should bring cash to the auction.

Shot Taker, why are you so fired up about this?  Well, mainly because every year I take a team that pretty much has no chance to win this tournament, none, zilch, zero. As do most of the members of the committee, it's not like I'm doing something special. However, this year the field is really strong and I have a B player that actually can break 95 on a regular basis. It pisses me off to have some loud mouth with a built-in daily audience flapping his gums.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to this weekend, it's always nice to see old friends and have fun day on the links. Until next time.....

Swing Hard and Have a Shot On Me

The Shot Taker

How To Play In A Scramble

The Shot Taker wants to know some secrets to playing well in a Scramble format.    Hmmm..... now that's poses some problems.  You see folks, TST and I host a 2 man tournament every year.  We do pretty well in every format other than Scramble.  So him asking me for advice might be the dumbest thing I can imagine.  As for us, our answer is to play better in the other formats and survive the Scramble segment.  In fact, the way we scramble together, we should probably just call it Scrabble.

For what it's worth, here is my version of what I think is key to playing well in a scramble.

#1- Play within yourself.  You don't need to try shots you know you are not capable of making just because you have a good ball in play.  This screws your swing up for weeks.  Play the game you know.

#2- If you are a "D" player, just relax and play.  In all honesty, the "A" and "B" players do not expect anything from you.  If you happen to chip a ball in or make a long putt, that's just a bonus for the team.  You will serve your team best by putting first and hopefully give the other players some idea about  speed and line.  Just enjoy the day and don't worry about anything.

#3- If you are playing in the "C" position, your job is the role of pressure release.  What that means is you need to put a ball in play off the tee that finds the fairway.  Doing this effecitvely "opens the door" for the two better players behind you.  Don't do anything crazy or risky.  Just try to be conservative and know that if you play your role well, good things are likely to happen behind you from your "B" and "A" players.-

#4- The "B" players role is to improve on what the "C" player did or complete the "C" players role if he was not effective.  The worse thing a "B" player can do is leave his "A" player bare assed.  You want to try to hit the middle of the greens, not go pin hunting.  Save that job for the "A" player.

#5- The "A" players role is to organize his players and put them in the roles they can best serve the team.  For instance, if your "C" player is a better putter than your "B" player, switch their order on the greens.  You need to exude confidence and security to your team.  Make them feel comfortable and take the pressure off of them.  You obviously need to hit good shots and make some putts, but controlling your team is very important.

#6-  Don't get ahead of yourself.  You can't make a birdie on #12 while you are playing #10.  Play each shot as it presents itself and refuse the urge to try to "figure out" what score it is going to take to win.  You are not a friggin' physic.... just play golf shots.

#7- Enjoy the day, even if you are not able to get a putt in the hole to save your life.  You are going to be outside for 5 hours, so make the most of it.  A bad day on the course, beats a good day at work any day in my book!

Coach
"The ShotMaker"