Hello ShotNation! Good times and beautiful weather has been the theme on this golf trip, though there are several "other" themes that I will avoid mentioning to protect the perpetrators.
I am on this trip with the Shot Taker and 6 of our mutual best friends. This is our 11th year of this annual outing and each trip gets better and better. There is nothing better than being on a trip with 8 guys who all get along and truly have fun together.
We have two rounds under our belt and have a round this morning and then we will finish up with a round at Celebration Golf Club tomorrow. For what it's worth.... Celebration is my favorite golf course, period. If you ever get a chance to play it, you will not be disappointed.
I guess I cannot sign off without posting a golf tip for you, so here it goes.
If you have never done so, get a group of 8 of your BEST friends and plan a golf trip. For some reason, 8 is the perfect number and things work out really well. Now here is the key to planning this trip... don't ask anyone who is a pain in the ass! I have heard of many trips that did not go well all because the "chemistry" of the group not being good.
I am truly fortunate and thankful for the 7 other guys with me on this trip. We have shared many great days together. Tuesday we will be returning to our homes... Wednesday we will all begin to count down the days till next years outing.
Swing Smooth!
Coach
"The Shot Maker"
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Golf Book
Golf book
ShotNation,
Many of you may not know it, but I have been very busy putting my thoughts and ideas together into a new book. I am very proud of the results and to assist with the marketing, I am asking friends and family to help me out.
I have just finished this new book on golf that I believe gives the reader valuable playing tips and insider information that I have gained through my many years of enduring experience.
Table of Contents:
Chapter 1 - How to Properly Line Up Your Fourth Putt
Chapter 2 - How to Hit a Nike from the Rough When You Hit a Titleist from the Tee
Chapter 3 - How to Avoid the Water When You Lie 8 in a Bunker
Chapter 4 - How to Get More Distance Off the Shank
Chapter 5 - When to Give the Course Marshal the Finger
Chapter 6 - Using Your Shadow on the Greens to Maximize Earnings
Chapter 7 - When to Implement 'Handicap Management'
Chapter 8 - Proper Excuses for Drinking Beer Before 9:00 a.m.
Chapter 9 - How to Rationalize a 6 Hour Round
Chapter 10 - How to Find That Ball That Everyone Else Saw Go in the Water
Chapter 11 - Why Your Spouse Doesn't Care That You Birdied the 5th...
Chapter 12 - How to Let a Foursome Play Through Your Twosome
Chapter 13 - How to Relax When You Are Hitting Three Off the Tee
Chapter 14 - When to Suggest Major Swing Corrections to Your Opponent
Chapter 15 - God and the Meaning of the Birdie-to-Bogey Three Putt
Chapter 16 - When to Regrip Your Ball Retriever
Chapter 17 - Can You Purchase a Better Golf Game?
Chapter 18 - Why Male Golfers Will Pay $5.00 a Beer From The Cart Girl
And Give Her a $2 Tip, But Will Balk at $3.50 at the 19th Hole and Stiff the
Bartender.......
Thank you in advance for your order!
ShotNation,
Many of you may not know it, but I have been very busy putting my thoughts and ideas together into a new book. I am very proud of the results and to assist with the marketing, I am asking friends and family to help me out.
I have just finished this new book on golf that I believe gives the reader valuable playing tips and insider information that I have gained through my many years of enduring experience.
Table of Contents:
Chapter 1 - How to Properly Line Up Your Fourth Putt
Chapter 2 - How to Hit a Nike from the Rough When You Hit a Titleist from the Tee
Chapter 3 - How to Avoid the Water When You Lie 8 in a Bunker
Chapter 4 - How to Get More Distance Off the Shank
Chapter 5 - When to Give the Course Marshal the Finger
Chapter 6 - Using Your Shadow on the Greens to Maximize Earnings
Chapter 7 - When to Implement 'Handicap Management'
Chapter 8 - Proper Excuses for Drinking Beer Before 9:00 a.m.
Chapter 9 - How to Rationalize a 6 Hour Round
Chapter 10 - How to Find That Ball That Everyone Else Saw Go in the Water
Chapter 11 - Why Your Spouse Doesn't Care That You Birdied the 5th...
Chapter 12 - How to Let a Foursome Play Through Your Twosome
Chapter 13 - How to Relax When You Are Hitting Three Off the Tee
Chapter 14 - When to Suggest Major Swing Corrections to Your Opponent
Chapter 15 - God and the Meaning of the Birdie-to-Bogey Three Putt
Chapter 16 - When to Regrip Your Ball Retriever
Chapter 17 - Can You Purchase a Better Golf Game?
Chapter 18 - Why Male Golfers Will Pay $5.00 a Beer From The Cart Girl
And Give Her a $2 Tip, But Will Balk at $3.50 at the 19th Hole and Stiff the
Bartender.......
Thank you in advance for your order!
Thursday, January 27, 2011
From ESPN's Jason Sobel
You people have done it all on the golf course.
You've hit awful shots that somehow found the bottom of the cup. You've hit great shots that, for one reason or another, have turned out awful.
You've struck innumerable squirrels, had run-ins with deer and flirted with gators.
You've imbibed an awful lot of adult beverages, many of which have left you caught with your pants down. Literally.
You've seen buddies throw clubs into backyards, lakes and thick trees. You've seen complete strangers fall out of carts, whiff at the ball and -- more times than you'd like to remember -- get plunked on the noggin.
But most of all, you've had a ton of laughs. So have I, for that matter, after reading the 517 entries (and counting) to our mailbag in response to my two-birdies-on-one-hole story from a few days ago.
As promised, here are the best of the bunch, broken down into 10 categories. (Extra credit to those who showed true storytelling skills.)
The award in the category of "Greatest Confluence of Unforeseen Events" goes to … Mike from Kenosha, Wis.:
The award in the category of "Biggest Embarrassment in Front of a Legend" goes to … Dan S. from Goldens Bridge, N.Y.:
The award in the category of "Best Retrieval of a Golf Club" goes to … Brett Demshar from Boston:
The award in the category of "Playing in Traffic" goes to … Ben from Irvington, N.Y.:
The award in the category of "Nuh-uh, No Way, That's Impossible!" goes to … Cameron from Salt Lake City:
The award in the category of "Best Bathroom-Related Incident" (and there was a lot of competition in this one) goes to … John in San Jose, Calif.:
The award in the category of "Best Quadruple-Bogey" goes to … Kyle from Eureka, Ill.:
The award in the category of "Worst Shot to Hit an Animal" goes to … Bert from Houston:
You've hit awful shots that somehow found the bottom of the cup. You've hit great shots that, for one reason or another, have turned out awful.
You've struck innumerable squirrels, had run-ins with deer and flirted with gators.
You've imbibed an awful lot of adult beverages, many of which have left you caught with your pants down. Literally.
You've seen buddies throw clubs into backyards, lakes and thick trees. You've seen complete strangers fall out of carts, whiff at the ball and -- more times than you'd like to remember -- get plunked on the noggin.
But most of all, you've had a ton of laughs. So have I, for that matter, after reading the 517 entries (and counting) to our mailbag in response to my two-birdies-on-one-hole story from a few days ago.
As promised, here are the best of the bunch, broken down into 10 categories. (Extra credit to those who showed true storytelling skills.)
The award in the category of "Greatest Confluence of Unforeseen Events" goes to … Mike from Kenosha, Wis.:
- College. Beer. The 18th hole was a par-5, downhill, over a river. One of the guys smoked his drive to the top of the hill on the right side, leaving an approach into the left, but he couldn't reach the green in two. We see a groundskeeper on the green. My buddy decides to lay up. He hits a high iron, the ball lands on the asphalt cart path, bounces sky high and before we could yell "FORE!" the ball lands directly on top of the groundskeeper's head. Knocked the guy out cold. The ball rolled to within 5 feet of the cup. On the way down the hill, everyone was concerned, but laughing uncontrollably -- and the beer had nothing to do with it. One guy lost control of the cart and ended up in the river. My buddy made his eagle putt. As for the groundskeeper, he was a retired priest. Required eight stitches and had a concussion. Surprisingly, we were asked never to return to the course.
The award in the category of "Biggest Embarrassment in Front of a Legend" goes to … Dan S. from Goldens Bridge, N.Y.:
- In the early '90s, I was a guest at the Shady Oak Club in Fort Worth, Texas. Founded by Ben Hogan, by this time, the elderly Ben would spend his days in the grill overlooking the 18th hole. I was 12-over-par after 17 that day and was feeling good about my round until my approach at 18 found one of the greenside bunkers. I grabbed my sand wedge and as I readied to hit the shot, I noticed that Mr. Hogan was standing at the window watching me. Shaking like a leaf and with a bad case of the nervous sweats, I proceeded to blade the ball and hit it directly into the bunker on the opposite side of the green. I then repeated the performance and ended up about one foot from my original lie in the first bunker. As I readied my third bunker shot, I looked up towards the grill window and watched as Hogan sadly shook his head and turned away from the window, probably wondering who had let this bumbling cretin on his course. To this day, when I'm asked about the quality of my game, I honestly reply that I have a game that disgusted Ben Hogan.
The award in the category of "Best Retrieval of a Golf Club" goes to … Brett Demshar from Boston:
- When I was 12, I had a great deal with my parents; I was allowed to play 18 holes every morning as long as I got out before the first tee time (usually around 5:30 a.m.) and managed to work at least 30 hours per week. Rain or shine, I took advantage of this every day the course was open. One summer morning, after playing seven holes in pouring rain, I stepped up to the tee at the par-3 eighth hole that had a pond in front of the green. I didn't waste any time on a practice swing as I didn't want to spend any extra time outside of my umbrella. I hit the ball and immediately felt that something was horribly wrong. My 9-iron flew through the air, keeping up with my ball for about 50 yards before it dropped into the center of the pond. It was a goner, no getting that back … or so I thought. I finished my round (minus the 9-iron) and when my dad picked me up at the clubhouse, I told him the bad news. The next morning I was up at 5 a.m. with a rope tied around my waist and shoulder deep in muddy pond water. I thought it would be impossible to find it, but with the sun shining just right, the water still as can be and my club sticking straight up, I could see it clear as day. I knew as soon as I stepped in the water that I would lose sight of the club, so I made sure to keep a straight line and felt my way around until I finally grabbed the handle. My dad pulled me back in, I dried off, changed my clothes and went straight to the first tee. Like I said before … rain or shine, I took advantage of that deal every day the course was open.
The award in the category of "Playing in Traffic" goes to … Ben from Irvington, N.Y.:
- I was playing a round with my father this past spring when Mother Nature started to give us some summer showers. We continued playing and on the eighth hole at Elmwood Country Club my dad hit a slicing tee shot onto the fairway. In the heat of the moment, he spun around so fast that his driver flew backwards off the tee box, over a fence and into traffic. We stood and watched in horror as not one but two cars ran over his driver. He turned to me and said, "Let's go now." It's safe to say we didn't tell anyone at the club. We just picked up and left and shared the story with family. My dad still misses that driver, though.
The award in the category of "Nuh-uh, No Way, That's Impossible!" goes to … Cameron from Salt Lake City:
- I was in high school and was golfing with a buddy of mine. We came to a par-5, dogleg right. The dogleg has some trees that you can go over (or through) if you want to cut the corner -- or shorter hitters can just go around the dogleg. I was lying two, getting ready to hit my third shot to the green. My friend had tried to cut the corner but hit some trees so he was looking for his ball. I decided to go ahead and hit. It was an OK shot, but was heading a bit right. Then, all of the sudden, I see it hit another ball in mid-air. I look over and my friend had hit at the exact same time, only to have our balls collide in the air. The odds of this happening are 1 million-to-1. We went up to find our balls, all the while going nuts about how this happened. As we approached the green we found his ball, but mine was nowhere to be found. That is, until we looked in the hole. Just like I planned it … 130 yards out, slight fade, off the golf ball in mid-air, on the green, nothing but the bottom of the cup. I will never forget it!
The award in the category of "Best Bathroom-Related Incident" (and there was a lot of competition in this one) goes to … John in San Jose, Calif.:
- About 10 years ago, I was playing in St. Louis and someone in my foursome hit their tee shot off of the blue marker that bordered the tee box. It ricocheted to the right and hit a woman square in the forehead just as she was exiting a porta-john. It knocked her cold, she fell back into the porta, and the door closed. I honestly thought she was dead. Everyone froze, and about seven seconds later she stumbled out (completely incoherent), and you could actually see the dimples of the ball on the egg-sized lump on her head. She ended up OK, but it scared the heck out of everyone. I must admit that the round did speed up significantly once we could play without her.
The award in the category of "Best Quadruple-Bogey" goes to … Kyle from Eureka, Ill.:
- The sixth hole at Eureka's course is the spawn of Satan. It's a 430-yard par-4 that the women play as a par-5. O.B. on the left, but you have to play it to the left of a birdhouse on the right to avoid another green. This leaves the fairway (whose grass is at all times the length of the rough on most other courses) only about 30 yards wide where you need to hit it. From tee to green it goes: huge valley, huge hill, huge valley, not-quite-as-huge hill, valley. Then when you get on the green, there is so much slope that it doesn't meet USGA regulations and the course can't be used for tournaments. When dry, you can touch the ball on the top of the green and it will roll until it falls off the bottom side. Enough about the hole. I teed off, and my horrible lefty slice took the ball O.B. Re-tee: same thing. Now hitting 5 off the tee, I do the same thing, but this time it hits a tree and I get the luckiest bounce ever, back into the fairway on top of the first hill. Hitting 6, I duff one and it barely rolls down the shaggy grass on the back side of the hill. I hit my 9-iron, just trying to get it the last 100 yards over the second hill. It lands halfway up and rolls back down to the EXACT same spot for shot No. 7. Now, pushed to the breaking point, I pull out a 5-iron. This thing was either getting to the green or finding the highway 150 yards past it. I wound up, hit the ball and watched. My friend at the top of the hill dropped his bag and shouted, "That went in!" I packed up my 5-iron, what was left of my dignity and went to the next hole.
The award in the category of "Worst Shot to Hit an Animal" goes to … Bert from Houston:
- I've had two REALLY bad golf shots in my life. This is one of 'em. I was playing a straight par-5 that paralleled a set of horse stables. I sliced my drive and it went over the fence and behind the stables. I didn't think anything of it until I heard a horse whinny very loudly and a young girl scream in terror. My golf ball apparently struck the horse and hurt or startled it. The horse bucked and took off, throwing the young girl off the horse. I felt so badly, I left the course after that and considered quitting.
The award in the category of "Biggest Name Dropper With a Crazy Story" goes to … John Felizzi from Vail, Colo.:
- It was the 1993 Jerry Ford Invitational Shootout at Beaver Creek C.C. I was partnered with Andy North, we were playing with 16 foursomes in the shootout, where the high score is eliminated. At the first tee box, Gary McCord teed off in front of us, hit his ball through the fairway and was almost in a lateral hazard. His caddie advised him to take a drop, but McCord said he could play the ball, insisted he had a shot. A heated discussion ensued. McCord was straddling the ball with one foot almost in the creek and his other foot so far uphill, above the ball, that his swing was darn near impossible. His caddie again advised him to take a drop. Julius Erving, Johnny Bench, Craig Stadler, Hale Irwin, Yogi Berra, Morris Hatalsky, Donnie Hammond, Jerry Pate and North all told him to take the drop. McCord said he'd make the shot and make the green. Many side bets ensued. So McCord sets up, waggles, begins his backswing, makes a great move at the ball … and misses it completely. The club hits in the hazard and McCord falls into the creek. Half a dozen guys almost wet their pants laughing so hard. Meanwhile, McCord is eventually eliminated and his caddie stormed off the first fairway, right into the bar!!
- I was golfing with my wife one day. I sliced my shot really badly, and the odds of getting par on the hole was very slim. I had to go through a barn door to have any chance to make par. I had my wife hold the barn door open as I shot. Tragedy happens as my shot goes awry. I strike my wife and she dies. A couple of years later, I'm playing at the exact same course and I see another couple trying to attempt the exact same shot as me. I see this horror and run over to warn the guy: I tried to do the exact same thing once and wound up making double-bogey.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Trouble Reading Greens????
Well, The Shot Taker has been busy lately, hasn't he? Hank Haney... Hank's Hot Wife....Rush Limbaugh....Tube Dude and last but not least Target Stallings. Do you ever find time to think about your golf game ST? I mean c'mon man, the season starts the end of next month and you are doing nothing to help yourself!! But, I tend to forget.... this is "yourself".
Anyways, you mentioned Rush Limbaugh commenting that he had "no idea what he was doing" when it came to reading putts. Rush admitted he was clueless about something! WOW!!
So todays discussion will talk about reading greens. First thing.... If you are a plumb-bobber, stop reading unless you vow to quit!! It has been proven that hardly anyone knows what the hell they are doing and that plumb-bobbing is not appropriate on every putt. If you want to plumb bob, become a carpenter!
Let's start with some "big picture things" and their relevance. This is overlooked by most players and it is one of the first and most helpful things you should consider when you read a putt. So here we go.
Putts Break Away from Hills- especially if they are near your putting line
Putts Break Away from the Clubhouse. This may not be true in every case, but most of the time the architects of the course wants water to run away from the house. So look for the clubhouse and you will know which way the putt falls.
Putts Will Break Toward the Setting Sun- this has to do with the grain of the greens, specifically Bermuda.
Putts Will Break Towards Water
Putts Will Break away from Bunkers- Greens keeps don't want to rake bunkers more than they have to.
These are all of the first things you should consider before you ever get ready to get behind your ball and putt.
You cannot deny the gravitational pull of the lay of the land, you must factor it in.
Now the finer points.... Go to the hole and find the downhill direction. If the cup was full of water, which way would the water run ?
Next, look from the hole back to your ball to get a mental idea. Then when walking back to your ball on the side of your putt, get a sense of what your feet are doing. Are they falling to the right or left? Forward or backward?
OK, now we are behind our ball, we are looking for our line. Next we want to shift one step to the right or left to "zero in" on the line. This will really help you!
One final thought..... 90% of you do not play enough break! You of course want to make the putt, but most of your putts will be missed on the low side, and many of those will be 3 putted. Miss on the high side and you will give yourself a better chance to make it and you will leave yourself much shorter clean up putts.
Who knows, maybe this is the reason Target Stallings is homeless and eating Chinese food instead of playing golf??
Swing Fast!!
Coach
"The Shot Maker"
Anyways, you mentioned Rush Limbaugh commenting that he had "no idea what he was doing" when it came to reading putts. Rush admitted he was clueless about something! WOW!!
So todays discussion will talk about reading greens. First thing.... If you are a plumb-bobber, stop reading unless you vow to quit!! It has been proven that hardly anyone knows what the hell they are doing and that plumb-bobbing is not appropriate on every putt. If you want to plumb bob, become a carpenter!
Let's start with some "big picture things" and their relevance. This is overlooked by most players and it is one of the first and most helpful things you should consider when you read a putt. So here we go.
Putts Break Away from Hills- especially if they are near your putting line
Putts Break Away from the Clubhouse. This may not be true in every case, but most of the time the architects of the course wants water to run away from the house. So look for the clubhouse and you will know which way the putt falls.
Putts Will Break Toward the Setting Sun- this has to do with the grain of the greens, specifically Bermuda.
Putts Will Break Towards Water
Putts Will Break away from Bunkers- Greens keeps don't want to rake bunkers more than they have to.
These are all of the first things you should consider before you ever get ready to get behind your ball and putt.
You cannot deny the gravitational pull of the lay of the land, you must factor it in.
Now the finer points.... Go to the hole and find the downhill direction. If the cup was full of water, which way would the water run ?
Next, look from the hole back to your ball to get a mental idea. Then when walking back to your ball on the side of your putt, get a sense of what your feet are doing. Are they falling to the right or left? Forward or backward?
OK, now we are behind our ball, we are looking for our line. Next we want to shift one step to the right or left to "zero in" on the line. This will really help you!
One final thought..... 90% of you do not play enough break! You of course want to make the putt, but most of your putts will be missed on the low side, and many of those will be 3 putted. Miss on the high side and you will give yourself a better chance to make it and you will leave yourself much shorter clean up putts.
Who knows, maybe this is the reason Target Stallings is homeless and eating Chinese food instead of playing golf??
Swing Fast!!
Coach
"The Shot Maker"
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Meet Target Stallings
I’m sure that you have all seen the stories about Ted Williams the “Golden Throated” homeless man. In addition, we discussed Pipe Dreams, the Golf Channels story of the homeless man trying to become a Champion Tour player. Well, as luck would have it, A Shot Of Golf has uncovered a WORLD EXCLUSIVE. While walking downtown last night I stumbled, literally I tripped over the dude, upon a homeless guy that has a voice from the Gods and a zero handicap. WHAT LUCK!! Here is my interview with our new find, Target Stallings. Please excuse the fact that A Shot of Golf staff members had to black out his face. We are exhausting our resources to make sure he isn’t up on any charges before we unleash our new find on the world. He was a bit surly at first but quickly warmed up:
The Shot Taker: My goodness, it’s great to meet you. How long have you been calling this dumpster your home?
Target Stallings: Oh, not long. And it’s only temporary, you know until I get back on my feet. Plus being near that Chinese Buffet over there, it’s an all you can eat setup.
TST: Is that Moo Goo Gai Pan?
Target: Guilty as charged.
TST: Sweet. Anyway, tell me about your past.
Target: Well, I grew up in Davenport, Florida and found out at an early age that I could talk like a radio guy and also hit a golf ball a mile. After bouncing around the mini tours for awhile I settled in at WRLK in Rochester and things were rolling. I quickly became a favorite among local radio listeners and was also cleaning the fuck -up in local golf scrambles. But……..
TST: But what?
Target: That’s around the same time I found crack.
TST: Crack? Wow, that’s a heavy thing to get going into.
Target:.......... And meth.
TST: Oh, well that’s….
Target: And I played around with hash oil.
TST: Jesus, Man, is that what has caused you to look like you just got out of a sun baked wind tunnel?
Target: Pretty much.
TST: Your teeth. They are black and chipped. Meth got ya?
Target: No, that I have to blame on the Little Debbie Cakes.
TST: Gotcha. Anyway now that you are on the verge of being a star by being featured on this blog what’s the plan?
Target: I’ve never heard of it, do people actually look at this crap?
TST: A few, you know shithead maybe you…….Ok, let’s calm down. Anyway, the plan?
Target: Plan? I thought that’s why your fat ass came over hear and split my Kung Pao. Don’t YOU have a plan? You know, Chubs, there is a reason I’m homeless in the first place; I don’t exactly have it all together.
TST: Right. Ummm,
Target: Cat got your tongue, Tubby?
TST: No, just thinking.
Target: First time for everything. Come back later, maybe Thursday, and we’ll talk more. It’s a good day to be here, Pu Pu Platters are the special and people never eat it all. Bring an appetite. From the looks of you that shouldn’t be a problem.
TST: If I didn’t think I could exploit you, make a few bucks and then kick your ass to the curb like Dr. Phil, I’d choke you with that half eaten egg roll.
Target: Blubs, I can’t imagine you’ve ever done anything with an egg roll that didn’t involve picking your teeth soon after. See you Thursday.
So that’s my first encounter with our new project. I just hope I don’t kill him before we get both his radio career and his golf game back on track. Stay tuned.
The Shot Taker: My goodness, it’s great to meet you. How long have you been calling this dumpster your home?
Target Stallings: Oh, not long. And it’s only temporary, you know until I get back on my feet. Plus being near that Chinese Buffet over there, it’s an all you can eat setup.
TST: Is that Moo Goo Gai Pan?
Target: Guilty as charged.
TST: Sweet. Anyway, tell me about your past.
Target: Well, I grew up in Davenport, Florida and found out at an early age that I could talk like a radio guy and also hit a golf ball a mile. After bouncing around the mini tours for awhile I settled in at WRLK in Rochester and things were rolling. I quickly became a favorite among local radio listeners and was also cleaning the fuck -up in local golf scrambles. But……..
TST: But what?
Target: That’s around the same time I found crack.
TST: Crack? Wow, that’s a heavy thing to get going into.
Target:.......... And meth.
TST: Oh, well that’s….
Target: And I played around with hash oil.
TST: Jesus, Man, is that what has caused you to look like you just got out of a sun baked wind tunnel?
Target: Pretty much.
TST: Your teeth. They are black and chipped. Meth got ya?
Target: No, that I have to blame on the Little Debbie Cakes.
TST: Gotcha. Anyway now that you are on the verge of being a star by being featured on this blog what’s the plan?
Target: I’ve never heard of it, do people actually look at this crap?
TST: A few, you know shithead maybe you…….Ok, let’s calm down. Anyway, the plan?
Target: Plan? I thought that’s why your fat ass came over hear and split my Kung Pao. Don’t YOU have a plan? You know, Chubs, there is a reason I’m homeless in the first place; I don’t exactly have it all together.
TST: Right. Ummm,
Target: Cat got your tongue, Tubby?
TST: No, just thinking.
Target: First time for everything. Come back later, maybe Thursday, and we’ll talk more. It’s a good day to be here, Pu Pu Platters are the special and people never eat it all. Bring an appetite. From the looks of you that shouldn’t be a problem.
TST: If I didn’t think I could exploit you, make a few bucks and then kick your ass to the curb like Dr. Phil, I’d choke you with that half eaten egg roll.
Target: Blubs, I can’t imagine you’ve ever done anything with an egg roll that didn’t involve picking your teeth soon after. See you Thursday.
So that’s my first encounter with our new project. I just hope I don’t kill him before we get both his radio career and his golf game back on track. Stay tuned.
Monday, January 24, 2011
What a RUSH!!
Hello ShotNation! I hope that your year is going well so far. Not much to report on as far as my golf prep. I’ve been working mainly on my diet and am glad to report I’m 12 pounds down. Nothing fancy, just eating better and trying lose it slow and steady.
A couple of thoughts on The Golf Channel and two of its shows. Let’s first start with the Haney Project. Ok, Hank, we know your wife is hot, but do you really need to crowbar her in this show on golf instruction? I’m not going to say it’s not great to watch her paddle around in the ocean wearing a handkerchief and a couple of q-tips, but it is painfully obvious you had her career aspirations written into your contract. My favorite part is when they try and tie her into the rest of the show by having Hank discuss Rush’s progress with her.
“Oh, my, Hank, how fascinating it is to hear you talk about Rush’s reverse pivot. See….. My nipples are hard just talking about it.”
Speaking of Rush, I haven’t studied past pictures of him or anything but I believe that there has been some major work done in his pie hole. Those teeth are not only as white as the snow on the number 1 fairway at Oak Meadow right now, but are jammed into a space to which they absolutely don’t fit. Maybe they are the only thing that can slow down his big mouth, that and a handful of oxycontin.
I truly thought about buying a few pair of Loudmouth shorts to wear while golfing. Now that I’ve seen what a fat guy looks like in those clothes, I’ve officially changed my mind.
But, as much as I hate to admit it, Rush has had me laughing a few times with his assessment of his golf game. When he backed off of a putt and proclaimed that he had no idea how to read a putt, it was pretty funny. He even admitted, as many others could, that he sometimes walks to all sides of a putt like the pros do, but has no clue what the break is going to be or what the hell he is supposed to be looking for. (Coach, as this is one of your specialties, I would love your insight on how to read greens.)
But they do a good job of making him appear destitute. Sometimes they leave him unshaven and show him with really greasy hair. Whoooooo, now that’s living on the edge. Does the backwards hat make him look MORE homeless? Maybe turn your hat around and don’t dig through garbage cans of the businesses in which you are trying to gain employment. Oh, shit, I forgot. You don’t actually want employment; you just want to follow your dream of playing on the senior tour. There is enough unintentional comedy just of the shots of him cruising around on his bike to last awhile.
Loose Impediments……….
I like the choice by the USGA to have Davis Love become our next Ryder Cup captain. I hope Ralph Lauren has the folks over at Gore-Tex on his speed dial.
ShotNation’s favorite son Josh Teater has now missed the cut in his first two starts of the year, let’s hope that changes soon.
Jay Cutler has a vagina and that’s all I’m going to say about that.
Later in the week we’re going to feature questions from the mailbag. I’ve had a few questions come in for both the Coach and myself and we’ll address those queries. If you would like to have your question answered on golf or my vast book of knowledge shoot us an email at ashotofgolf@gmail.com
And one last picture for you old horny golfers...
A couple of thoughts on The Golf Channel and two of its shows. Let’s first start with the Haney Project. Ok, Hank, we know your wife is hot, but do you really need to crowbar her in this show on golf instruction? I’m not going to say it’s not great to watch her paddle around in the ocean wearing a handkerchief and a couple of q-tips, but it is painfully obvious you had her career aspirations written into your contract. My favorite part is when they try and tie her into the rest of the show by having Hank discuss Rush’s progress with her.
“Oh, my, Hank, how fascinating it is to hear you talk about Rush’s reverse pivot. See….. My nipples are hard just talking about it.”
Speaking of Rush, I haven’t studied past pictures of him or anything but I believe that there has been some major work done in his pie hole. Those teeth are not only as white as the snow on the number 1 fairway at Oak Meadow right now, but are jammed into a space to which they absolutely don’t fit. Maybe they are the only thing that can slow down his big mouth, that and a handful of oxycontin.
I truly thought about buying a few pair of Loudmouth shorts to wear while golfing. Now that I’ve seen what a fat guy looks like in those clothes, I’ve officially changed my mind.
But, as much as I hate to admit it, Rush has had me laughing a few times with his assessment of his golf game. When he backed off of a putt and proclaimed that he had no idea how to read a putt, it was pretty funny. He even admitted, as many others could, that he sometimes walks to all sides of a putt like the pros do, but has no clue what the break is going to be or what the hell he is supposed to be looking for. (Coach, as this is one of your specialties, I would love your insight on how to read greens.)
Now, onto “Pipe Dreams”. Where do I start? I have a few questions to say the least. Are we really supposed to believe that the Golf Channel is letting this guy sleep in a tube while they are filming him?
They talk about the dangers of sleeping out there; hell one guy said someone was shooting at him. So we are to buy into the fact that a camera man making 11 bucks an hour is out there with a bullet proof vest on? C’mon. Oh, yeah, and he collects enough cans out of trash cans some days to go out and play a beautiful desert course. What do they pay for aluminum out there? Maybe we’ve been planning this golf trip wrong all of these years. Maybe we should just wing it and spend our mornings collecting cans and the afternoons basking in the glow of our labor. But they do a good job of making him appear destitute. Sometimes they leave him unshaven and show him with really greasy hair. Whoooooo, now that’s living on the edge. Does the backwards hat make him look MORE homeless? Maybe turn your hat around and don’t dig through garbage cans of the businesses in which you are trying to gain employment. Oh, shit, I forgot. You don’t actually want employment; you just want to follow your dream of playing on the senior tour. There is enough unintentional comedy just of the shots of him cruising around on his bike to last awhile.
Loose Impediments……….
I like the choice by the USGA to have Davis Love become our next Ryder Cup captain. I hope Ralph Lauren has the folks over at Gore-Tex on his speed dial.
ShotNation’s favorite son Josh Teater has now missed the cut in his first two starts of the year, let’s hope that changes soon.
Jay Cutler has a vagina and that’s all I’m going to say about that.
And one last picture for you old horny golfers...
Until next time, Swing Hard!
The Shot Taker
Sunday, January 16, 2011
You Need 2 More Eyes To Play Better Golf
Hello Shot Nation!
Here's hoping all your golfing dreams come true in 2011!!
I've been a little lazy with the golf tips... sorry! I hate winter and have sort of been in shut down mode. The Shot Taker has certainly been entertaining as usual, so I know you are surviving. Anyway.... I am going to start posting with a little more regularity as we get closer to spring time!
One goal that I want ALL of you to set for 2011 is to stop trying to "know" what is wrong with your golf swing. You might think you "know", but you don't. David Leadbetter, Butch Harmon, Hank Haney and all the other GREAT teachers of the game can fix your swing, but they CANNOT fix their own! Sure, they or you for that matter, can work on specific drills on the range to give yourself some clues, but unfortunately when it comes down to it, unless you can SEE your own swing, you will not fix it until you "stumble" on the right correction. And that provides that you know what you are looking for once you see it!
A Picture From My Dreams Last Night.... Come on Springtime!
OK, so if you know how to correctly set up a video camera to record your golf swing and have the knowledge to review and know what you are looking for, you need to do this. A picture is worth ..... you know.
Regardless of whether you can do the video camera..... here is where the 2011 resolution comes in. Find another set of eyes that you trust to look at your swing. You want this person to look for ONE THING only in your golf swing..... Shoulder Alignment! If you get this part correct, the rest will sort of take care of itself. Most all swing problems begin and end with shoulder alignment. PERIOD.
Make sure this person knows what to look for. And then for goodness sakes, LISTEN to him and BELIEVE his evaluation! Then TRUST him to show you where your shoulders should be aligned. Don't doubt him! His eyes are more accurate than yours.
Here is my golf swing tip for those of you who have trouble with correct shoulder alignment that relates to aiming to far to the left of your target (slicing the ball). Get in your golf stance and simply grip the club with your left hand low, then without moving, correct your grip to having the right hand low. You will now have your shoulders square! How hard is that??
Keep it Smooth Golf Nation!
Coach
"The Shot Maker"
Here's hoping all your golfing dreams come true in 2011!!
I've been a little lazy with the golf tips... sorry! I hate winter and have sort of been in shut down mode. The Shot Taker has certainly been entertaining as usual, so I know you are surviving. Anyway.... I am going to start posting with a little more regularity as we get closer to spring time!
One goal that I want ALL of you to set for 2011 is to stop trying to "know" what is wrong with your golf swing. You might think you "know", but you don't. David Leadbetter, Butch Harmon, Hank Haney and all the other GREAT teachers of the game can fix your swing, but they CANNOT fix their own! Sure, they or you for that matter, can work on specific drills on the range to give yourself some clues, but unfortunately when it comes down to it, unless you can SEE your own swing, you will not fix it until you "stumble" on the right correction. And that provides that you know what you are looking for once you see it!
A Picture From My Dreams Last Night.... Come on Springtime!
OK, so if you know how to correctly set up a video camera to record your golf swing and have the knowledge to review and know what you are looking for, you need to do this. A picture is worth ..... you know.
Regardless of whether you can do the video camera..... here is where the 2011 resolution comes in. Find another set of eyes that you trust to look at your swing. You want this person to look for ONE THING only in your golf swing..... Shoulder Alignment! If you get this part correct, the rest will sort of take care of itself. Most all swing problems begin and end with shoulder alignment. PERIOD.
Make sure this person knows what to look for. And then for goodness sakes, LISTEN to him and BELIEVE his evaluation! Then TRUST him to show you where your shoulders should be aligned. Don't doubt him! His eyes are more accurate than yours.
Here is my golf swing tip for those of you who have trouble with correct shoulder alignment that relates to aiming to far to the left of your target (slicing the ball). Get in your golf stance and simply grip the club with your left hand low, then without moving, correct your grip to having the right hand low. You will now have your shoulders square! How hard is that??
Keep it Smooth Golf Nation!
Coach
"The Shot Maker"
Monday, January 3, 2011
Twenty Eleven
Greetings Shot Nation. Welcome to 2011, isn’t it great? What are we going to do about our golf games this year? First and foremost let’s plan to have fun and get better at the same time. The Coach is going to take care of the “game adjustment” aspect and I’ll provide, hopefully, the humorous side.
Keeping the grips warm.
Ok, this year my “majors” are going to be roughly the same. With one exception, I need to find another individual tournament to set my sights on, so we’ll keep that spot open for now. These are the for- sures:
Country Oaks Classic
Evansville City Tournament
Oak Meadow Club Championship
I might throw in the Vincennes Open, the Knox County Open, or find a new one to play in. We’ll see.
Here are my 2011 Goals as they stand right now, subject to change of course:
• Keep my scores out of the 90’s no matter where I play. I know I’m going to have a stinker now and then but no more scores this high.
• Win my flight at Country Oaks. These may seem a little lofty, especially the way my year ended, but with a 2nd place finish last year, I cannot set the bar any lower. It’s my favorite course and the one I’m most comfortable on, so I will keep this goal where it’s at.
• Qualify for the City Tournament. We all remember the debacle that was last year’s qualifier. This year I can’t put into the committee’s hands. Just go out and do it the right way.
• I guess my goal for the club championship should be to just finish, but we’ll say a top 3 in my flight is a goal that I can shoot for.
• Finally, when I decide to walk 18 holes, I want to make it up the hill on 15 without having to put my brother through the humiliation of performing CPR on a very woozy ShotTaker.
I have my winter drills from the coach and my weighted club ready to go to begin my training. I might go train in Russia like Rocky did while preparing for Drago.
Loose Impediments
I chuckled a couple of weeks ago as The Golf Channel came out of a commercial break and said something like “The only channel dedicated to golf.” They then returned to the movie “Point Break.”
I saw where Chuck Berry collapsed on stage over the weekend. Uh, Chuck, maybe you and Dick Clark should consider hanging it up?
Speaking of……………..Dick Clark is killing me. I told you I don’t like bad situations for old or mentally challenged people, he might be the perfect storm.
That was the single worst NFL weekend that I have ever seen. The one game that really meant something had two teams, the Rams and the Seahawks, that couldn’t combine in an all star team and beat the MisHit Mafia. And we don’t have a legitimate quarterback.
Until Next Time,
Swing Hard!!
Keeping the grips warm.Ok, this year my “majors” are going to be roughly the same. With one exception, I need to find another individual tournament to set my sights on, so we’ll keep that spot open for now. These are the for- sures:
Country Oaks Classic
Evansville City Tournament
Oak Meadow Club Championship
I might throw in the Vincennes Open, the Knox County Open, or find a new one to play in. We’ll see.
Here are my 2011 Goals as they stand right now, subject to change of course:
• Keep my scores out of the 90’s no matter where I play. I know I’m going to have a stinker now and then but no more scores this high.
• Win my flight at Country Oaks. These may seem a little lofty, especially the way my year ended, but with a 2nd place finish last year, I cannot set the bar any lower. It’s my favorite course and the one I’m most comfortable on, so I will keep this goal where it’s at.
• Qualify for the City Tournament. We all remember the debacle that was last year’s qualifier. This year I can’t put into the committee’s hands. Just go out and do it the right way.
• I guess my goal for the club championship should be to just finish, but we’ll say a top 3 in my flight is a goal that I can shoot for.
• Finally, when I decide to walk 18 holes, I want to make it up the hill on 15 without having to put my brother through the humiliation of performing CPR on a very woozy ShotTaker.
I have my winter drills from the coach and my weighted club ready to go to begin my training. I might go train in Russia like Rocky did while preparing for Drago.
Loose Impediments
I chuckled a couple of weeks ago as The Golf Channel came out of a commercial break and said something like “The only channel dedicated to golf.” They then returned to the movie “Point Break.”
I saw where Chuck Berry collapsed on stage over the weekend. Uh, Chuck, maybe you and Dick Clark should consider hanging it up?
Speaking of……………..Dick Clark is killing me. I told you I don’t like bad situations for old or mentally challenged people, he might be the perfect storm.
That was the single worst NFL weekend that I have ever seen. The one game that really meant something had two teams, the Rams and the Seahawks, that couldn’t combine in an all star team and beat the MisHit Mafia. And we don’t have a legitimate quarterback.
Until Next Time,
Swing Hard!!
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