Shots of Me

As 2010 putts out on 18, the old Shot Taker gets a little reminiscent about the year that was.  For a decent part of the year you can say that lady golf promised to blow me but decided to use a little more teeth for effect. My plan was to make 2010 “my year”, my big coming out party as a serious contender in golf tournaments. We all know how that master plan turned out.  From a confident beginning, to a near death experience going up a par 5, to a disastrous middle of the season, to a limp to the finish fall, I’m glad this piece of shit year is over.

NOW, C’MON 2011 PUCKER UP!  BIG DADDY’S COMING!!

I have an entire winter to work the plan that the Coach is laying out for me and I will use the cold weather months to reduce the Shot Taker’s body by about a kindergartner. This all points to 2011 The YEAR OF THE SHOT TAKER. I can hear you giggling, ShotNation.

So let’s have an installment of Loose Impediments to close up the book on el crapo and kick off 2011. Just some random thoughts rattling around in the Taker’s head……….

I saw on the TV Guide Channel that the #1 moment of the television year was the Chilean miner story. I hate to admit this, but I really ignored this whole fucking thing.  I didn’t know what they were talking about until a day or so before the retrieval.  I, honest to God, thought for a long time it was in Kentucky. How bad could it have really been for these guys? They were obviously still getting paid for just sitting around.  They were sending free food and drink down there and one guy was training for a marathon! It sounds a lot better than what I was dealing with (except for the marathon training, which had to suck).

So the New York Jets coach has a foot fetish. Would someone please tell me how in the hell this stuff gets out?

We know how much Sergio loves the Ryder Cup.  While it was a nice gesture, and I’m sure it was great for him to be around the squad; wouldn’t you have felt like a douche if you were serving as a “special assistant?”

You only need to see one shot from last year’s major championships. Lefty’s 6 iron out of the pine straw, through the trees and on the green was as good as it gets. It also gave us one of the best quotes of all time.

“A great shot is when you pull it off. A smart shot is when you don’t have the guts to try it.”
                      — Phil Mickelson

3 things that consistently make the Shot Takers old eyes dust up a bit:

1.) Movies or real life stories depicting bad situations for old people. I avoid these at all costs. If it’s a movie, avoiding it is really easy. If it’s real life, avoiding it can be viewed as cruel but not helping is much more comfortable for me.

2.) Movies or real life stories depicting bad situations for the mentally challenged. The Coach hates the word retarded so the previous line didn’t get the laugh that it could have……. but my sensitivity training is really working!  I WILL NOT watch another movie after I strained my whole body trying not to cry for two hours while Sean Penn served Starbucks coffee and tried to raise a child in that movie, whatever it was called. NEVER AGAIN. Sorry, I know you think I’d like Radio with Cuba Gooding playing a dense football manager, but it’s not going to happen.

3.) Craig Morgan singing “Almost Home.”  I’m not the biggest country music fan in the world; but I’m not like Jiggy of the MisHit Mafia. I can listen to it if the song is right. This tune depicts a dude waking up a homeless guy who is sleeping behind a dumpster in a snow storm. The homeless guy was dreaming about being a kid and running home to go fishing with his dad. My GOD, when you start thinking about it, how do we go on?  This fucking guy just wants to hit the rewind button and not be a wino sleeping in a freaking alley!!  I CAN’T TAKE IT.

I will never. NEVER record a football practice, from a crane, in high winds. And you can put that in ink.

You can tell my 4 year old daughter has grown up in the MMA generation. When she and my son were spending some “Daddy” time and getting their first indoctrination into professional wrestling, she said, "Dad why are they wearing shoes?"  "Oh, so if they wear shoes they can’t kick right?"

Speaking of rasslin’ I look back fondly to Saturdays of my youth, especially winter time when we were inside all day. My brother and I used to spend all day either watching or talking about sports, but mostly we focused on the action inside the squared circle.  Our T.V. schedule went something like this.

  11:30 catch the end of Bandstand while eating one of two meals…..two hotdogs with chips and Prarie Farm french onion dip or a can of Chunky beef soup.

12:00 pm Evansville Wrestling. It was actually out of Memphis but it was on an Evansville channel so that’s what we called it. Lance Russell and Dave Brown called the action, and MAN what action.  Jerry Lawler, Superstar Bill Dundee, Austin Idol (Las Vegas Leglock!), Handsome Jimmy Valiant and his brother Johnny, a young Jimmy Hart, I could go on and on. Wow. I couldn’t wait to see who turned bad that week or started a fight while Lance and Dave were trying to conduct an interview.  On a side note, when I was in Memphis a few years back I noticed Dave Brown  doing weather on a local station. A massive career decline, in my book.

4:00 pm – 6:00 pm  World Championship Wrestling When we got WTBS out of Atlanta, our entertainment satisfaction went through the roof!  At the time, this was the Granddaddy of them all. The Road Warriors, Tommy “Wildfire” Rich, Dusty Rhodes, The Four Horseman, and the illustrious Fabulous Freebirds. Most weeks, this was the highlight of the whole weekend. I learned from the great Gordon Solie what a “pier sixer” was.   The feelings of anger, anguish, and turmoil all rolled up into two hours of action. If only as an adult we could get that kind of intense feelings over something so trivial. (ShotGal would say not much has changed)

10:00pm – 11:00pm    WWF.  Thanks to the addition of WWOR out of New York we got an hour of WWF when it was still a local promotion. This is when Vince Sr. was still calling the shots and Vince Jr. was a lowly ringside announcer.  It was good, but not near the product being produced down south. Also this led me to my first glimpses of televised harness racing. Tape delayed races from Yonkers always preceded the wrestling and still provides a good joke when Mook and I go to the OTB for our racing fix. After pointing to the screen one of us will say, “Must be about time for wrestling.”  Ok, it doesn’t translate into print, but trust me it’s a funny moment.

11:00pm – 12:00pm   Some cheap ass wrestling out of St. Louis, and I’m not even sure what channel we got it on.  10, I think. Anyway, it was bad even for my standards. The one thing that sticks out in my mind, though, was it had a very young Randy “Macho Man” Savage and his brother, “Leaping” Lanny Poffo.  There was also some strange character called “The Miser” with dollar signs all over his green tights.  Not much to report on this and quite frankly I’m a little embarrassed I brought it up.

Sunday mornings we’d halfway watch the promotion out of Indianapolis with Dick the Bruiser, Haystacks Calhoun, and Bobo Brazil, but I never cared much for it. I much preferred the WGN lineup on Sunday mornings of:

Abbott and Costello

Our Gang / Little Rascals

The Lone Ranger

The Cisco Kid

These were cool shows for a couple of dopey kids in the early 80’s. That and we were a little punchy from all of that wrestling on Saturday.

Ok, Assholes. If I say the word “shank” that doesn’t mean you are about to start hitting hozzel rockets. Get over it.

Why is it that we as golfers will openly admit, when we are sober, that we aren’t really that good but add about 9 beers and suddenly we are talking about how we can hit a draw around trees on command and putt like a young Ben Crenshaw?  If we could only make a drink that could actually have you PLAY like that instead of TALK like that we’d be rich.

My character on the Wii Fit game looks like a damn weeble wobble.

Hey, I’ve got an idea. Let’s play an entire football season and then decide the best two teams that will play for the national championship. THEN, let’s make the two teams wait over a month to play the deciding game. This will ensure that they will be really rusty and quite possibly have lost a player or two due to bad grades, team violations, or incarceration. What’ya say?

2 things that you must have either one or both of for a situation to be labeled a party:

1.) Cocktail weenies

2.) A tent

On the golf course it is strictly and I mean STRICTLY prohibited from driving your cart near the green when you get out to go chip and putt. Then, why is it that when you spray a shot near a green on a different hole than the one you are playing…… its ok to practically drive your cart on the putting surface? You see this all of the time.

I see where Elton John and his partner have a new baby. I guarantee that you will see or hear someone call this kid his “Tiny Dancer.” Watch for it, it will happen.

Next up on A SHOT OF GOLF……my initial thoughts on goals for 2011

Until next time, Swing Hard Shot Nation!

(And Happy New Year)

“Ohhhhhhh, Cisco                Ohhhhhhh, Pancho”

The Shot Taker

Reading The Greens

1.  DRIVE FOR SHOW, PUTT FOR DOUGH. MEMORIES OF A GOLF HUSTLER


I have no idea who Leon Crump is or was, but he wrote one great book. the life this guy lead is full of wine women and song. And he bet on every damn bit of it.  If you like golf, gambling and drinking, which I'm guessing you do since you are reading this........go get this book.


2.  JOHN  DALY   MY LIFE IN AND OUT OF THE ROUGH

If you thought he was a mess before, wait until you read this.

3.  THE GREATEST GAME EVER PLAYED

I wrote about this in the movie post but I need to  mention it here.  It is a little slow in parts but really goes into detail abou the way golf was in it's infancy.  To think that a little kid caddied for the winner of the US OPEN is, in this day an age, unbelievable.

4.  A GOOD WALK SPOILED

This was the first golf only book I ever read.  Starting with the 1993 Ryder Cup and continuing through the next full season, Feinstein offers a fly-on-the-wall account of one year on the PGA Tour.  He tries mightily to breathe life into extended portraits of players like Brian Henninger, Paul Goydos, Davis Love and a host of others. It was a good read, the thing that I remember taking out of it is that the one thing all of these guys have in common is that they all practiced until their hands bled. Mine have not.

5.  WHO'S YOUR CADDY?

Rick Reilly caddies for a bunch of people.  I don't think it was that great, but I couldn't think of a fifth book.

Coming up in the next few days....The BEST AND WORST OF 2010

Swing Hard Shot Nation....Swing Hard

The Shot Taker

Popcorn Anyone?

The Shot Takers take on the best golf movies....................

1. Tin Cup


I quote Roy or Rome in nearly every round of golf that I play, as annoying as that may sound, I’m sure my buddies would never say it. “Little Gust Coach!” There is so many golf clichés and references in here to last lifetime. So the acting is not great and the story is a bit far fetched. It’s really fun to watch.

2. The Greatest Game Ever Played.

First, it’s true and from all accounts pretty accurate. When they hoist Frances on the gallery’s shoulders at the end and he is telling everyone to give the money to his pint sized caddie, it gets pretty dusty in the eyes of the old Shot Taker.



3. Bagger Vance

Charlize Theron is so damn hot in this movie that I don’t give a rat’s ass how good it is. Matt Damon’s swing is a little suspect and for God sakes, how long did he take to hit that last shot out of the trees. Jeez, get a clock on him. I do however think that The Shot Taker and Walter Hagen would have had a lot of fun together. “Walt, order us another scotch while I get those two hot- ass flapper girls over here!”


4. Happy Gilmore

Sure it was stupid. But there are some really funny moments in this movie and it gives us a brief look at how hot Julie Bowen was going to be before she became famous on Boston Legal and now Modern Family. Be honest how many of you have tried to hit the ball while running towards it. Having Bob Barker kick Happy’s ass was pure comic genius.




5. Caddyshack

I know, I know, it’s sacrilegious not to list this as the greatest thing in golf with the exception of Paula Creamers tits, but honestly, it’s not really that funny. It’s amusing, and has some iconic scenes that I really like, but overall it’s just a good movie, not what it is made out to be.


As a caveat to this list I have to say that I have never seen Dead Solid Perfect. In John Daly’s book he says that this is the best golf movie of all time. I’m going to try and find a copy and watch it to see if he had a snoot full of Jack Daniels or if it’s really that good.



Look for Best Golf Books Tomorrow……….Yes, Assholes, I can read.




Swing Hard, Walter!





The Shot Taker

I wonder if Santa gives three footers?

Ho Ho Ho Shot Nation. I hope you all have put in your requests for putters, fairway woods and that hot new 900 dollar driver that you know will help you game.  If Santa has any heart at all he'll at least bring you  a couple of gloves.

Speaking of Santa. I wonder what golfing with him would be like? First off, you know that deep "bowl full of jelly" laugh would pop out during your back swing. That could be a bit annoying. The fact that he rides a sleigh and a deer instead of the cart could be a bit amusing. But the best thing of all, and I would hope we are all in agreement, is seeing his crack showing every time he marks his ball. Damn, that would never get old.

Great tips by the Coach for the winter time. I have always wanted to get  on a good regimen for the winter so I'm not playing catchup when the ice starts to melt. 

I tried to watch a bit of the Shark Shootout this past weekend but I just can't watch golf during the silly season.  Sorry.

Was that MY Sara Brown that got her LPGA card at Q school?  Looks like someone is going to make plans to attend the Dinah Shore Nabisco Open.  Woooooo Hoooooo.

Alright, my new walking regimen is going ok, not great but ok. Myself,  ShotGal, Mook and Shot In Law entered a 5K that was raising money for something or other last Saturday.  It was fun, even though I cut off a block or so and turned it into my own personal 3K.  Actually it wasn't fun, every damn minute of it sucked and I don't understand these mental patients that run for enjoyment. What the hell are they thinking?  I knew I was in trouble, and I'm not kidding about this one bit when at mile marker 1 I was feeling pretty good about my pace. So I'm jiggling along the river walk and I look over to see whose passing me and it's a 50 something broad carrying her dog. Yes, I said CARRYING HER FUCKING DOG!!  I knew right then and there that my Olympic dreams were over.

Random thoughts from the mind of The Shot Taker:

Is there any more annoying people in the world than the "overly dramatic" college basketball coach?

Watch the 30 for 30 about SMU "Pony Excess." A really entertaining look at how college football was done back in the old Southwest Conference. My favorite line of the night, one booster said...."we signed Eric Dickerson....................we'll that's about all I'm going to say about that." Yeah, it's obvious  his grandma ma bought him that gold trans am.

Good to see "The Professor,' one of the proud members of SHOTNATION at the Evansville Aces vs North Carolina Tarheels last week. Evansville hasn't seen that many Amish in one place since the Black Buggy grand opening. OK, Mennonites, but that's not nearly as funny.

Just finished reading "The War For Latenight, When Leno Went Early and Television Went Crazy"
A really good read if you are in the mood for an interesting story about television. I never cared much for Jay Leno and this book confirms he a douche bag.

Stay tuned as we get closer to the new year, I'm starting to prepare my BEST AND WORST FOR 2010. Also, Coach, please keep the wintertime activities coming. We need the help.

Until next time......

Swing Hard

The Shot Taker

Winter Practice Indoors

Practice Technique that Pays Off Fast!

If you're busy or don't live a convenient distance from a driving range, or your from Indiana and it's simply too damned cold, practice your backswing at home with a new twist: make your backswing last an entire minute. This technique has been proven to match the effectiveness of hitting thousands of balls.

When you reduce your backswing to extra-slow-motion speed, your concentration and muscle memory soar to new levels. Get into your address posture with your driver, and then start the club back very slowly. The club should literally move at a snail's pace. Take 10 seconds to swing your hands from address to mid-thigh, then another 10 seconds to get the shaft almost to parallel, and so on. Don't just swing to the positions and stop -- the motion should be extra slow, but you should never stop moving. Keep in mind that this is more of a workout than you might think (you'll see what I mean as soon as you get to the top). 

Perform this drill every morning before work, and after a week take your new backswing to the range. You'll be surprised at your results, and how easily your body remembers the positions you practiced in your slow-motion swing. 

Now you have no excuse for blaming the weather on your poor golf swing!!  

Coach

"The ShotMaker"

Slow Sunday

I didn't get to watch any golf today but i was interested to see that Tiger got caught from behind, by that Mcdowell character that seems to be everywhere this year. (with all of his freaky shit, no way this is the first time he's been caught in the backside)   Here's what was in the winners bag.

DRIVER: Callaway FT Tour (9.5°) with an Aldila Voodoo SVS 6 shaft
FAIRWAY WOOD: Callaway Diablo Edge Tour (15°) with an Aldila RIP Beta 60 shaft
HYBRIDS: Adams Idea Pro (18°) with an Aldila NVS 85 shaft, (21°) with an Aldila VooDoo XVS8 shaft
IRONS: Callaway X Forged (4-9) with Project X 6.5 Flighted shafts
WEDGES: Callaway X Forged Vintage (48°, 52°, 58°) with Project X 6.5 Flighted shafts
PUTTER: Odyssey White Hot #7
BALL: Callaway Tour ix

I have recorded all of the "12 Days at the Academy" on the Golf Channel this weekend and through the week next week, hopefully it'll have some interesting tips.

Not much to report this weekend, I've been running around to office Christmas parties and kids b'day parties so it's been a little hectic. I have to go to Chicago on business the next couple of days, so I will touch base tomorrow night with a new post. Look forward to sharing my warped thoughts with you guys then.  Hey, if you have any ideas, comments or bitches, feel free to email us at ashotofgolf@gmail.com .

"Comments" instructions

Well, it seems that there are many people wanting to "comment" on postings in this blog.  I was asked by one of our biggest followers, Robert, to check out the "comment" section at the end of each post.  He told me that several people wanted to comment, but did not know how to do so.  (Must have been some of my friends!!)

Well, the old Shot Maker knows a lot more about the golf swing than he does techy stuff, but I honored Robert's request and looked into it for him.  

Here's what I found out.   At the end of each post there is a link that says "comments".  If you click on that it will open a box where you can make your comments.  It will then ask you to select from a profile so you can finish the post.  All you need to do is go to the bottom and either select "name/url" (something like that, I don't remember the exact term) or "Anonymous".  If you select the "name" link, all you have to do is put your real or fake name in the box, preview and post.  Your comment will show up in the comments section link under the post you made your comment on.

I checked in the back office of the blog site and there are indeed many comments from as recent as last Thursday from someone called "TheBitch".

You can also send me or the Shot Taker a personal email by clicking on the "envelope".  You can and should also "share" the blog posting by clicking on the icon you wish to post on.  For example, selecting "F" will allow you to share on Facebook.  This will allow us to expand our world of goofy golfers!

Let me know if you have any problems, we want you to share your opinions with the world of golf fanatics who follow  http://AShotofGolf.com

Coach
"The Shot Maker"

Turkey Time

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I wanted to put down a few things that the old Shot Taker was thankful for.


Thanks to Hunter Mahan for making us all feel better. I mean, we only chunk chips in front of the other guys in our group and the old guy waiting to wash the cart. He does it in front of the whole world.

Thank you to Colin Montgomery for reminding us that the Ryder Cup is the best sports event that doesn’t have the words Super or Bowl in it.

Many thanks to the Golf Channel and the Big Break for showing us that there are other places besides Country Oaks where bad shots and assholes meet.

Speaking of the Big Break, thanks very much for Sara and her shorts.

Thank You. Thank You. Thank You to Tiger Woods. Without you the Shot Taker would have had A LOT less jokes for this blog.

While I’m on the subject……………………………………………………………..

Thanks Tiger for replacing Santa Claus as the king of Ho, Ho, Ho’s.

Thank you Mr. Woods for filling us in that not every one of your big sticks and bags have the Nike logo.

Thank you Elin for your nice call, but the role of ShotGal is filled.

Thank you Tiger. Thanks for FINALLY making John Daly seem somewhat normal.

Thank you, Tiger. We’ll never think the same thing again when McCord or Feherety says that you “took it deep.”

Now back to regular programming.

Thank you to Mr. Phil Mickelson for representing for all male golfers that should be wearing a brazier.

Thank you Anthony Kim. Thanks for showing that professionals, like us, show up to the course for tournament final rounds hung-over as hell.

Thank you MisHit Mafia. Thanks for not getting together as much this year. Both my mental image of a proper golf swing and my liver are in waaaaaaaaaaay better shape.

Thank you to Charles Barkley for not giving up golf but rather taking the game up left handed. I mean, it’s as exciting watching you try to hit a golf ball as it watching Michael J Fox try and sit still. Ah, that was mean, I’m sorry. You can golf a little.

Most of all, thanks to the readers of this blog, ShotNation will eventually take over the world!!!!!!!!

Until next time……Swing Hard!!



The Shot Taker

2010 A to Z

Except for the occasional warm day round, it looks like 2010 Golf is in the books. Was it a successful year for the Shot Taker? I would have to say emphatically……….YES!! and then No. It started off incredibly promising a win in the Member/Member tourney and then a 2nd place finish at the Classic. By July 1st things seemed to be going in a good direction. All of those proclamations about this year being “my year” seemed to look as good as Beyonce in a skin tight outfit. But somewhere along the way Beyonce turned into that fat chick from Precious and my season fizzled. The fantastic draw I was playing turned into a massive hook and my lack of distance off of the tee only grew to staggering levels.

Late in the season things did turn around a bit. After the member/guest debacle in which I played like that hiker that sawed his own arm off, post amputation, things got a bit better. First of all, I got rid of that fucking Nike Square Sumo. I don’t know if it was a black market copy or what but as soon as I put a Taylor Made R9 in my bag, my distance off of the tee was back to normal. I did make some improvements over the year I think, The Coach’s drills helped my overall consistency and I feel I’m on track for 2011…..My Year!

What to do this winter to get the old game where I want it? First and foremost, it’s time to get this fat body back in better condition. I have started walking / running and am gradually building that up. University of Evansville coach Marty Simmons, who is one of my childhood idols, lost 100 pounds recently eating a little smarter and walking everyday. I hope that I can do the same thing and when the Coach says to point my belt buckle at my target on the follow through…..my belt buckle will actually be visible.

As far as equipment goes, I think I’m pretty set. Now that I have gotten rid of that driver I really feel good about everything in my bag. I actually like the Nike fairway woods and hybrids so those will stay. The Bridgestone irons are staying and I don’t think I’ll ever find a putter that feels better in my hands than the one I’ve been using for that past 10 years.


Next, get back to regular blogging so the Coach and I will have that interaction and continue getting drills to help my swing. Hopefully, this will help out all of your games as well. That’s why we are all here right? Now that the blog is back up and running and posts will be up 3 to 4 times per week, please tell your friends to start checking it out. We have a lot of things planned but we need to start growing the readership.


Homework for the next blog, which will be Sunday evening after I return from the UE vs. IU game in Bloomington…..start thinking about your own exercise program for the next few months. Don’t get crazy, because if you are like me and overdo it, you’ll just get sick of it and quit. Let’s get better together.

I will leave you with an alphabetical wrap up of the 2010 Golf Season according to the Shot Taker.



Until next time…..SWING HARD!!

A      Asshole. Like the one that ran his mouth off before the KofC tournament despite having no idea what he was talking about. Remember, gambling habits, heavy drinking and a big mouth DO NOT mix.




B      Beer. I don’t know that there is a finer place on the planet than the Washington KofC with the other 7 guys on Saturday after 18 holes. Come ready to drink though, the rounds fly pretty fast.



C      Couples Golf. This year is the most that I’ve ever played. And I must say despite my jokes at ShotGals expense, we had a lot of fun together on the links.



D      Drainage Ditch. Being denied a drop out of a ditch at Fendrich cost me a spot in the Evansville City Tournament.



E      Eighty- one. Instead of seventy- six. See “D” above.



F      Fuck. Is there a more versatile word in golf? It can be used as an adjective….I hit that fucking putt EXACTLY where I wanted and still missed. It can be used as a verb….Well, my partner fucked that up. As an adverb….That ball fucking JUMPED off of the club head. As a noun…… Fucker thinks I’m giving him that three footer the way he’s putting?



G      Gut. Mine. Didn’t help my golf and attributed to my near death walking up the hill on par 5 -15th during the summer.



H      Handicap. Despite the fact that my year didn’t go as planned and I put in every score; somehow my index has dropped to an 8.5. I hate the system that is in place.



I       Ignorance on the rules of golf. Would it kill some of you to pick up a rules book over the winter? I mean, you don’t have to be an expert but at least brush up on the basics.



J      Josh Teater. The only PGA pro that I actually know had a great first year on tour and will be back with his card in hand for 2011. Job well done!



K      KofC scramble. Didn’t win, despite my B player being the best player in the tournament. (see “A”). But, I did win a complete set of Powerbilt clubs and a Nike square hybrid that matched my other Nike clubs.



L       Lash Larue. The act of holding the club head end of an iron and in a whipping action hitting your brother in the calf with the grip; while he’s not looking. Very funny. Not so funny when it’s your brother doing the lashing to you.



M      MisHit Mafia. My guys. A group of 8 golfers that break down in these categories….3 bald heads, 2 fat guys, 1 toupee, 8 bad swings, 1 monstrous nose, 4 shaky hands, and an Irishman in a Bud tree. But a bunch of great guys.



N      Not Enough. I only played two rounds of golf with the MisHit Mafia members this year and that is a crime.



O      Oak Meadow. My first year as a member of this club went really well. Hopefully they will stay afloat long enough for there to be a year number two.



P      Preferred Lies. A thing of the past in our group and we are glad of it. Makes golf more enjoyable when you don’t spend your time watching your buddy trying to tee up a shot on some dead grass so they can hit a 3 wood 40 yards short of a par 5.



Q      Quality tournament. The Belt Tech Classic at Country Oaks is as good of a tournament that there is in the area. Make sure, even if you are not a tournament player, to volunteer or come out and watch next year. You’ll be glad you did.



R      Ryder Cup. Jack Nicklaus once said that the Presidents Cup would one day be a bigger and more important event. Probably the dumbest thing Jack ever said. With maybe the exception of “Tiger, meet my granddaughter.”



S      Six Birdies. Not sure what got into my brother a couple of weeks ago. But during the annual family tournament the Mookster threw up a half dozen birdies on me and my father.



T      Tiger’s Penis. Man. What a great 2009 it had. 2010…..not so much.



U      Under Par Round. Better check back next year on this one.



V      Vincennes Golf Club. Glad to see the old Fox Ridge making a comeback. Don’t let it slip boys; you’ve got a bit of momentum going.



W      Women of A Shot of Golf. Haven’t I provided some nice pictures this year for you dirty old bastards?



X      Expert Tips. The Coach will make us better with his simple to- do drills and advice that comes from a long background in the game.

Y      Yancey, Scott. Sorry to hear about the former Big Breaker and my onetime Pro Am partner has gotten away from golf. Hope to see him back out there next year.

Z      Zoysia. The finest grass for a fairway. Go play Country Oaks in July and tell me I’m wrong.

What Happened To The Shot Taker??

Just when the world was getting a feel for the Shot Taker and his trials and tribulations regarding his golf game, he friggin' falls (or rolls) off the face of the earth!

Let's face it... he is one sick dude, but his posts are rather addicting aren't they???

My best bet is that he got kicked out of that fancy schmantzy club he belonged to.  Or he never belonged at all and finally got caught.  Or they had to shut the place down to the tremendous water bill caused by his passion for "cannonballs".

Whatever the case, we need this guy back!  Sure, his golf season didn't pan out the way he planned..... who's does?   It's golf.... it never keeps you satisfied for very long.

As for me.... It appears I have lost one of my favorite golf students.  At least I did not lose a paying client.

For what it's worth, here is my free golf tip of the week.  The reason most people suck at golf is because they are simply not flexible enough to swing the club properly.  Since 75% of the blog followers golf season is over, my tip is for you to lose some weight, join a few fitness classes or simply work on your flexibility.  One of the best things you can do at home is to take a golf club and put it on your back, holding it with your elbows.  Now simply get in your golf stance, knees slightly flexed, bend from the hip sockets and TURN slowly into your backswing and hold for a 5 count.  From there, turn into your follow through position and hold for a 5 count.  Do this 10 times a day and see what a difference it makes come spring!

Coach
"The Shot Maker"

Grab Your Member

Sorry for the delay on the latest posts. Computer problems has the Taker in disaray. I have the Member/Guest tournament this weekend at Oak Meadow. Should be alot of fun as players are coming in from 11 different states. My partner is my uncle from Ricmond, IN and we will easily be the heaviest team in the field if not the best golfers. Hey, you have to have one advantage on the field and dammit, this is ours.

Look for a full post tonight when I'll have more info. Thanks,  Shot Nation, I appreciate you all. AND, thanks to the Coach for more great tips!!

Who Needs Complicated Advice??

When you are trying to improve your golf swing the LAST thing you need is complicated advice that is over your head..... and sticks in your head..... and muddles your brain..... which leads to you thinking of "everything".

Now don't get me wrong, PGA golf instructors are excellent at what they do.  I highly recommend you work with one as long as he fits your goals.  Selecting a golf instructor should mimic the same process that you would use to choose your dentist, family physician or pediatrician. 

If you have lots of time and money, a PGA pro can completely break down your swing and build it back up.  Please understand that this process requires the student to spend a lot of time on the range working on the "new" techniques.

Now to the dark side of some PGA instructors.  To put it bluntly, they give you a little assistance and "encourage" you to take a series of lessons from them.  Unfortunately, some of these guys are interested in "volume" of clients instead of offering some "quicker fixes" that will satisfy the student in one or two lessons.  Understand that the money they charge for their lessons is theirs.  They rely on this for personal income.

Ok, for those of you who have followed this blog and have read my free golf swing tips, you know that I like to give you "simple" things to do to improve your swing.  I don't want to go all technical on you and make swinging a golf club more complicated than it really is.  I also don't believe in "cloning" all of my students to swing the club the same way.  No two swings are alike.

Here is your free golf swing tip for the week.  Get a piece of paper and write this down.  Hell, this is so simple, you can remember it without writing it down.  Here it is!!!

LEFT SHOULDER TO THE CHIN....... RIGHT SHOULDER TO THE CHIN
Repeat this 10 times.  The next time you play golf, say these words to yourself before you hit every shot.

Yep... if on your backswing (takeaway) you take the club away and get your left should to touch your chin (as close as you can) and on the downswing touch your right shoulder to your chin, you have put yourself in position to hit solid golf shots.  Now there are many technical reasons this is effective and I could bore you to death with explanations, but who the hell cares!!   Don't clutter your mind over this great game, keep it simple and enjoy the game.

Coach
"The Shot Maker"

PGA and KOFC

Two big tournaments this weekend. The annual KofC scramble in Montgomery, IN and uh, oh yeah, the PGA Championship.  One is full of pressure, features high levels of golf, and will mean the success or failure of a golfers year. The other is being played in Wisconsin.

The scramble this year should be alot of fun. I have one MisHit mafia member on my team, his son, my nephew  and a guy that I haven't met yet.

We start at 8 am and hopefully I won't do too much training on Friday night that will ruin my morning on Saturday.

To the jack off that is running his mouth about my B player being the best player in the tournament...... Maybe before you start talking about things that you have no idea about; you should do some fact checking. My nephew figures you've seen him hit about 5 golf balls in his entire life. I, on the other hand, play with him a couple of times a month and know exactly what he shoots. I guess if my team is that good you should bring cash to the auction.

Shot Taker, why are you so fired up about this?  Well, mainly because every year I take a team that pretty much has no chance to win this tournament, none, zilch, zero. As do most of the members of the committee, it's not like I'm doing something special. However, this year the field is really strong and I have a B player that actually can break 95 on a regular basis. It pisses me off to have some loud mouth with a built-in daily audience flapping his gums.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to this weekend, it's always nice to see old friends and have fun day on the links. Until next time.....

Swing Hard and Have a Shot On Me

The Shot Taker

How To Play In A Scramble

The Shot Taker wants to know some secrets to playing well in a Scramble format.    Hmmm..... now that's poses some problems.  You see folks, TST and I host a 2 man tournament every year.  We do pretty well in every format other than Scramble.  So him asking me for advice might be the dumbest thing I can imagine.  As for us, our answer is to play better in the other formats and survive the Scramble segment.  In fact, the way we scramble together, we should probably just call it Scrabble.

For what it's worth, here is my version of what I think is key to playing well in a scramble.

#1- Play within yourself.  You don't need to try shots you know you are not capable of making just because you have a good ball in play.  This screws your swing up for weeks.  Play the game you know.

#2- If you are a "D" player, just relax and play.  In all honesty, the "A" and "B" players do not expect anything from you.  If you happen to chip a ball in or make a long putt, that's just a bonus for the team.  You will serve your team best by putting first and hopefully give the other players some idea about  speed and line.  Just enjoy the day and don't worry about anything.

#3- If you are playing in the "C" position, your job is the role of pressure release.  What that means is you need to put a ball in play off the tee that finds the fairway.  Doing this effecitvely "opens the door" for the two better players behind you.  Don't do anything crazy or risky.  Just try to be conservative and know that if you play your role well, good things are likely to happen behind you from your "B" and "A" players.-

#4- The "B" players role is to improve on what the "C" player did or complete the "C" players role if he was not effective.  The worse thing a "B" player can do is leave his "A" player bare assed.  You want to try to hit the middle of the greens, not go pin hunting.  Save that job for the "A" player.

#5- The "A" players role is to organize his players and put them in the roles they can best serve the team.  For instance, if your "C" player is a better putter than your "B" player, switch their order on the greens.  You need to exude confidence and security to your team.  Make them feel comfortable and take the pressure off of them.  You obviously need to hit good shots and make some putts, but controlling your team is very important.

#6-  Don't get ahead of yourself.  You can't make a birdie on #12 while you are playing #10.  Play each shot as it presents itself and refuse the urge to try to "figure out" what score it is going to take to win.  You are not a friggin' physic.... just play golf shots.

#7- Enjoy the day, even if you are not able to get a putt in the hole to save your life.  You are going to be outside for 5 hours, so make the most of it.  A bad day on the course, beats a good day at work any day in my book!

Coach
"The ShotMaker"

Winning vs Losing

The Shot Taker posed a question a couple of posts back regarding winning vs losing.  Is it easier to just lose?  He asked for opinions, so here is my opinion.

Hell yes it is easier to lose, you don't have to commit yourself to any particular effort other than not winning.  I do however think that two given athletes with the same talent level that are both definitely good enough to win can have completely different approaches to winning or losing.

From my years of coaching my high school team I have had some really good players who just could not win.  They could practice well and score well and have a high level of confidence, but once a tournament started.... someone else took over their bodies.  Their body language was completely different than when they were practicing and playing well.  They sabatoged their own chance at success.  Who knows why?  Afraid to win?  Don't like pressure?  Unsure of their talent? 

I have also had kids who practiced OK, but once a tournament started, their body lanquage turned completely also... these were the "winners".  They looked forward to putting their talents on the line vs. everyone else.  They were committed to a winning effort and were willing to live with the results.  These kids also used losing as motivation to improve.

So yes, it is harder to win..... after all the odds are tremendously against you.  Only 1 person is going to win a golf tournament.  The key is being truly committed to the effort to win.  And this commitment must be genuine.  Simply saying the right words in trying to convince yourself you are ready to win doesn't cut it.

 I believe that all of my best players had one common trait.... STUBBORNNESS!  They were all somewhat difficult to deal with at times.  They did not buy in to everything just because "the coach says so".  They challenged me and I in return enjoyed the challenge.  Another interesting thing.... I am not extremely close friends with most of these past players.  We stay in contact and enjoy seeing each other, but the relationship is more "respectful" than friendly.

Coach
"The Shot Maker"

Date Night At The Links

Golf has many incarnations. Casual play, tournament play, match play, stroke play, alternate shot, scramble...you name it. But there is one type of play that is in a league of it's own. Couples golf. There's nothing like an old "hit and giggle" to get the inner golfer in you fired up.  Where else can you play golf and kiss your partner after she hits one down the middle? Or find out from a lady in your group that she just found a little pocket in her new skirt that you can keep your tee in? I mean, this just doesn't happen in your typical weekend round. 

Some random quotes that the Shot Gal has thrown at me during a few hit and giggles this year:

"Why don't you kiss me more?"

"Let me try and hit your driver, you haven't hit it yet."

"Do you always smoke this much during golf?"

"Those couples seem to be having more fun."

"Why do you wiggle your club like that? Oh, sorry go ahead and hit."

"He seems to be complementing her more."

"Can you just try and hit it straight?"

I watched my brother do his best David Ledbetter impression with one of the greatest teaching tools of all time. After ShotInLaw missed her 5th consecutive swing, he put the ball about 3 feet behind the crater she was making. He told her to try and hit the hole and by God she hit the ball. Get this kid on the freaking Golf Channel!

You never really know how serious to be. One never knows how much one of the snobby members will react at letting one of the broads take another whack at the ball following another wiff. I mean, we ARE playing for 8 bucks in merchandise credits. But, the minute you tell them to pick up the fucking ball and lets go for crissakes.....someone yells at you from another hole....."C'mon you prick, it's for fun, let her hit it."  Yeah, you probably just want another shot at her ass while granny hits another putt 15 feet past.

But, I will say, me, Mook, ShotGal and Shot in Law have alot of fun. We have the ability to laugh at ourselves and can make fun of each other in the most brutal fashion.  We made alot of retard jokes when ShotInLaw bragged about the pocket for her tee. "I keep my tee in here!"

Yes you do, honey. Good job.

Loose Impediments:

I don't think enough was made of the senior Champions Tour had back to back major championships. How stupid is that?

I'm not sure why I don't like Bubba Watson.

Uh, Tiger, you can still be a Dad and practice your golf. That is the lamest excuse that I've ever heard and I can't believe that you are now the guy reduced to this. Guess what, alot of guys have to something really weird like GO TO A FUCKING JOB and still find time for their kids. Just because you now cant go to Olympic Gardens in Vegas every other week doesn't mean you have to whine about spending time with your kids. Get your ass out on the range and hit some balls.

This is going to sound really racist but it's not meant to be. The LPGA seems weird when half of the players names are spelled like this She-Kai Olakwoudhfkdjijgoijgoij.

And are we POSITIVE that they are all women?

Bernhard Langer sort of creeps me out. I think he may be a robot.

Will PGA announcers please start the trend of calling the guys that yell "GET IN THE HOLE!!!" after a player hits a shot....complete and utter douche bags. Do people really think this a cool thing to do?

Playing with the boys up in Montgomery tomorrow morning. It'll be good to get the Mishit Mafia's cash again. It's been waaaaay tooooo loooooong.

Also, picking teams for the annual KofC golf scramble.  Here is my criteria for ranking players in this event.

D Player: Excited for the second week of August when you can dust off the old clubs for your inaugural round of the year.

C Player: Owns his own clubs and played "in a couple scrambles this year."

B Player: Owns clubs AND shoes.

A Player: Can easily break 90 while bitching about the lack of free keg beer this year.

Coach, give us guys that don't play in a bunch of four man scrambles some ideas. I tend to not play as well in these things as I'd like to.

Until Next Time

SWIZZING HIZZZARD

Qualifier Schmalifier

Well, crap. As I said earlier, I failed in my mission to make the City Tourney.  I, not being able to do anything normally, had the entire committee  in  a huddle deciding my fate. When you either have an 8 or a 3 on a hole, depending on the ruling, that tends to happen.

I let my nerves get to me at the beginning. I had that feeling of do I really belong here, am I good enough, why is Shakira overtaking Pam Anderson as my number one hottie. Wait, that was later.
or

Anyway, I'm not going to lie, after the shitty start I was thinking.."Here we go again. Just like always you are going to bend under the strain of a tourney and fail miserably."  But, I am very proud that I didn't fold up the tent. I kept fighting and made a bit of a comeback. This led me to ask.   Is losing easier than winning?

I wonder if sometimes in the back of my mind I take the easy way out and do what is expected. Let my nerves get to me and just know that it's easier to fail and bitch about it over a few beers than to actually face my fears and make good shots.

Send me and the Coach and email and we will post some of your stories, anonymously, about times that you have failed in your mission. I think we could all learn a lesson or two from our stories.  Email address is ashotofgolf@gmail.com

What's next on the "Takers" golf schedule? This weekend is the Beat The Pro at my club. Two man teams play one best net vs the head pro and his assistants best gross ball.  I think I'm playing, waiting on my brother to decide if he can play. The next biggie is the member/guest which is the third weekend in August.

My main goal in the next few weeks is to work closely with the Coach, hopefully including a practice session together, and really start working hard on my swing. I've got to get it better so it will hold up better when things are a little tense.

The next blog will talk about "Hit and Giggles." Playing golf with your wife. The ShotGal should love this one.

Swing Hard

The Shot Taker