Licked it and sent it away...........................

No that's not a description of a typical weekend while I was at Eastern Illinois University, although it is pretty close to the truth. What it does describe is me sending in my entry in for the Evansville Courier and Press Men's City Golf Tournament.

So it looks as if this year I'm actually going to go through with it.

I've talked about it for years, so get ready you Shot Of Golf readers, you are going on this journey with me. All 3 of you!! Just kidding, my Mom told me she is reading this literary masterpiece... so that makes 4.

My qualifying round will be on the 24th, so I have a touch over two weeks to get ready. My plans go a little something like this:

1.  Play 2 nine hole rounds and 1 eighteen hole round each week from now until then. I'm SURE this will help my swing. "Dear God...this is the Shot Taker....please excuse my terrible language, occasional cigarette, unadulterated sexiness and the often Coors Lite aided comedy routines I do on a regular basis. Please Almighty Golfer, let me use my immense mediocrity to not completely fuck this up."

2.  Walk at least 30 minutes a day to prepare for the tourney, which is no carts. Luckily the qualifying round is cart optional, so I won't have the distraction of buckets of sweat in the crack of my ass for another week. Actually, Under Armor underwear has cured me of this unsightly perspiration.

3. Talk the Coach into being my caddie should I make the tournament.

4. Break the news to the Coach that alcohol is strictly prohibited in the tourney for both players and caddies. Penalty is disqualification.  Thus assuring that I will either be disqualified on #4 or us doing our Abbot and Costello on Vodka routine on hole 19.

5.  Try and lose 5 pounds. Listen, I know ShotGal is going to read this and she is on a diet and workout mission right now. I have to include this goal in pretty much everything now. Yeahhhhhhhh.

P.S.    I love when I look for pictures of the blog and search things like Drunk Golfer or Fat Golfer or Stupid Golfer; that pictures of John Daly are always in the first few choices.

Ok.....so now it's time. That's right it's TIIIIIIIME.

I hope all of you are following the golf drills and golf tips that the Coach is providing, I can tell you that they are really helping me. I've spend time on the putting green this weekend and practiced with one hand. I can tell you after doing these drills that when I put both hands back on the club that it felt much smoother.  The drills are usually easy and not too technical. Thanks Coach!!

LOOSE IMPEDIMENTS

**I was glad to see Justin Rose hold on this past weekend. Not that I'm a huge fan of his, but I hate to see a guy blow the tournament 2 weeks in a row.

**Is it bad that I'm pretty sure I hate PGA Tour player Zach Johnson because of his hair lip?

**Mark it down. Tiger wins at St. Andrews by 4 or more.

**I went to see Grown Ups last week. I love all of the guys in this movie, although I'm a bit sad that it should be Farley instead of Kevin James. To say I was disappointed in this movie is an understatement. Not that it didn't have some funny spots, I just kept waiting for each joke to go to that next level. It never did.

**Is there anything more annoying than constantly getting emails from your Country Club President lamenting how broke the club is? Maybe don't have 45 fucking waitresses to serve the 4 geriatrics eating dinner on a Tuesday night. How about that IDEA!!!!

**Check in tomorrow night and maybe I'll have good news about my 9 hole round tomorrow.

**The revolving door continues at Country Oaks. Finally have some stability inside but now we are switching Supers more than Oprah switches dress sizes.  Good luck to Max, I hope you do great!!

SCHWING HARD!!